It was just meant to be
by demetriaxo
Summary: This is the story 'A lot can happen in a year' re-written. The very start is pretty much the same but as it goes on they're completely different stories. Alex is really struggling to cope with the shit that is her life. Home isn't any good, school isn't either and her sexuality is causing her troubles. Will Miss Torres help her or just make it worse? WARNING: RAPE.
1. Drive By

**Chapter One – Drive by**

_BEFORE SCHOOL_

Alex and Taylor were sitting underneath the tree behind their classroom, a place in which they always sat before school started.

"So what do you reckon the new teacher will be like?" Taylor asked.

"I don't have a clue Tay, but I doubt I'll like 'em."

"You don't like any of the teachers Alex."

"I know that's why I doubt it." She laughed.

"Maybe you'll like this one."

"Yeah, once again I doubt it."

"You're gonna cause so much shit aren't you?"

"Of course." Alex scoffed.

Taylor sent her best friend a disapproving look and then stood up offering her hand to the younger girl.

"Come on, we're already late."

She took a hold of the outstretched hand but still took her time.

"Oh well."

The two girls left the shade, which the tree had been providing, and headed to their classroom. As they walked towards the door, the voice of their new teacher could be heard echoing through the corridor.

"Great, she sounds way too cheery."

"That could be a good thing, Lex."

"How?"

"That means she's nice."

"Yeah well cheery pisses me the fuck off." She moaned.

The girls had been so deep in conversation, they hadn't noticed that the door was now open and their new teacher was stood in the entrance.

"What's your name sweetie?" The older woman asked Taylor.

"It's Taylor."

"Okay Taylor, have a seat."

Taylor walked past her and took a seat in the classroom.

"Hello, I am Miss Torres, and you'd be?" She questioned Alex.

"Alex."

"Well Alex, you have detention after school for being late. We can see how cheery I am then."

"That's so not fair." She argued.

"Oh well. Now take a seat."

Alex barged past Miss Torres and took her seat next to Taylor.

_ALEX'S POV (MATHS)_

If she wasn't so hot I'd be way pissed. Wait what? What am I even saying?! I don't like girls. I'm no lesbo, I love guys and dicks and chest hair. What is she doing to me? She'd got me in such a daze, stressing over her hotness, that I hadn't even noticed my name being called.

"ALEX?!"

"What?" I snapped.

"I asked you a question." Miss Torres glared.

She really didn't like me.

"Well I wasn't listening."

And the feelings mutual, she is fit but I don't like her.

"Why are you being so rude? I am your new form tutor and your new maths teacher; you're not making a very good impression." She scolded.

"Do you really think I give a fuck about impressions? You're lucky I'm even here." I cussed.

"Yeah I'm so lucky." Was that sarcasm in her voice?

I shot her my condescending smile and willed her to shut up.

"Well since you don't want to answer my questions now, you can answer them tonight in detention."

What a bitch.

She took that opportunity to then continue with the lesson and I began to feel over whelmed with all my thought towards the girl. Even though she'd just given me a detention and had a go at me in front of everyone she still leaves me breathless. Whenever she'd bend over to help a student all I could think about was how good her ass looked or whenever she moved a certain way and her top slid down to reveal a bit of cleavage I was just transfixed. That's how the entire lesson went. She worked and did her job, I just stared and perved on her. The second the bell rang I couldn't have darted quicker to get out of there.

"I'll see you tonight, Alex." Her shout was completely lost on my ears.

Usually I love pissing teachers off and making them uncomfortable. Whenever I got detention I'd be beyond proud of myself but this time it's different. I don't want to go and spend an hour with a girl who I'm finding attractive, that's just weird.

"You are in shit already and that was our first lesson." Taylor nagged.

"Yeah, I doubt it will be the last time."

"Yeah, we do have English next, you know with Friles."

"That annoying, evil twat?" I spat.

"No! The super hot, young, fitty."

"He is NOT hot! And he hates me."

"Yeah, you did tell him that he smelt of piss. That he looked like he lived in a pig's pen and that he probably wasn't gonna get any sex because he was so repulsive."

Taylor always feels the need to remind me why everyone dislikes me, can't she just let me have self pity?

"Yeah well, he gave me an F."

"Yes he did. But the assignment was to write an essay with 1000 words. You only wrote 7 and they were 'I don't give a fuck about English.'"

"Yeah well, at least it was true."

"You are something else." She giggled.

_ENGLISH_

We walked in and Friles immediately sent daggers in my direction.

"You alright, Friles?"

"Sit down Alex."

"You try to be nice and bam you get shot down. Why do I bother?" I teased.

"Sit Selena!"

"Geesh I'm not a dog."

"Had me fooled." He said.

"So mature Mr Teacher man. Does it make you feel good to insult sixteen year old girls? You must have a sad sad life. And also, sweetie, if you think I'm a dog then you're gonna find it hard getting a girlfriend because me? I'm hot! You know it, I know it, Tay knows it, everyone knows it. Ain't no one better than me so good luck. Oh and by the way I will sit now."

Okay so I'm sort of self-obsessed and full of myself but come on. Have you soon me? I'm beautiful, thin, I have amazing brown eyes and the most lush, black hair that cascades down my back.

"You said you were gonna be nice." Taylor hissed.

"I tried."

Mr Friles was trying is hardest not to completely lose it but there's only so much a man can take.

"That's it detention tonight."

"As much as I'd love to spend the night with you Friles, I already have a detention."

"How could you? This is second lesson."

"Yeah well… Let's just say me and the new maths teacher don't get along."

"Oh Miss Torres."

"Yeah, that's the one."

"Well I'm sure she wouldn't mind adding another hour onto your detention for me." He smirked.

"She won't do that." I hoped.

"She's a very nice woman, I'm sure she will."

"Has someone got a cruuushh?" I joked.

"Alex, shut up!"

"Have I hit a soft spot?"

"Do you want to be sent out?"

"Why? So you can tell everyone how much you love Miss Torres?"

"Out now!" He boomed.

"Bye."

I walked out laughing and shut the door behind me. Getting sent out of lessons was not exactly new for me. Most of the time I did it on purpose so that I didn't have to be bored to death.

**A: Hey hannah where you at? xxx**

**H: In Maths. I'm so bored but the new teacher seems nice xxx**

**A: Miss Torres? xxx**

**H: Yeah xxx**

**A: Oh my god no! xxx**

**H: Why? xxx**

**A: She gave me a detention tonight just because I said that she was cheery and it pissed me the fuck off! xxx**

**H: Oh. Well dare I say it? xxx**

**A: Say what? xxx**

**H: Sounded like you deserved it… xxx**

**A: Han I did not! xxx**

**H: Hi Alex. It's Miss Torres. Tut tut for disrupting children in their lessons. Speaking of lessons why aren't you in one?**

**A: You took Hans phone? And I got kicked out.**

**H: Oh badass. Well looks like that is gonna add to your time tonight. I got an email off Mr Friles, he's added an hour and I would like an explanation as to why you were texting.**

**A: So Hannah gets a detention too?**

**H: Nope.**

**A: Yeah so that's fair…**

**H: Hannah was sticking up for me, so I like her. I'm going now. Cya tonight.**

All that and I still don't hate her. What the fuck is up with me today?

Forty minutes later and the bell rang, filling the entire school with its excessive noise. Taylor walked out of the classroom, which I'd previously been sat in, and joined me on the floor.

"What's up?" She asked me.

"My detention is even longer now."

"Because of Friles?"

"Yeah but also because I was texting Hannah and she was in Miss Torres' class and then she got caught." I explained.

"So she's even more pissed?"

"Uh huh."

"Well at least it's break now, you wanna go get Hannah?"

"Yeah."

_BREAK_

We walked round to Miss Torres' room and saw Hannah waiting for us like she did every Monday. She engulfed me in a tight bear hug and I squeezed her back just as hard. We were really close so we hated having to go the whole weekend without seeing each other.

"Hey babes, you annoyed about the whole detention thing?"

"I'm pissed Hannah. Did she just take your phone?"

"Yeah and read out the conversation to like the whole class."

"Oh my god she's a right bitch"

Hannah and Taylor both stayed silent.

"You still like her don't you?" I accused.

"Yeah I guess sorry."

"Whatever. It's cool that you'd choose her over me."

"Alex." They protested.

I didn't bother to listen to them I just turned away and walked off. I wasn't even mad at them really 'cause they'd done nothing wrong. I was just in a really bad mood and was taking it out on whoever was near. I found a place in the cafeteria and began ripping through my salad, I absolutely love salad and not because I'm a health freak but simply because it tastes amazing. I felt my phone buzz from my pocket and pulled it out to check who'd text me. It was Drew, my dad's friend.

**D: Tell your dad he still owes me that money.**

**A: What money?**

**D: It doesn't concern you.**

**A: Why fucking text me then?**

**D: Don't get smart with me Alex.**

**A: Drew don't get fucking arsy with me then. You've known me since I was little and now all of a sudden you don't give a shit.**

**D: Your dad's well and truly fucked me over.**

**A: How much does he owe you?**

**D: Bout two grand. I have the money to replace it but that's not the point. I trusted that fucker.**

A normal child would defend their father if someone was calling him names but not me. Anything Drew says is true because my Dad is an absolute prick. I know for a fact that he has the money to give Drew but he won't because he's a twat. If he doesn't pay Drew back though, it's gonna get ugly fast. The two of them used to be really close but as soon as my dad got addicted to crack and messed himself up he hasn't stayed in contact with any of his friends. I have to do something about this, I can't have Drew sending guys over to our house which is exactly what he'd do, my little brother Max is at home and he's only four. I'm not having him witness that.

**A: Is there anything I can do to smooth this over?**

**D: Like what?**

**A: Anything you want me to.**

**D: Come over to mine after school?**

**A: I can't do right after school. What about like six?**

**D: You come round at half four or not at all.**

**A: Half four it is.**

I guess I'll just have to skip this detention. Max is more important than anything and he'll always come first. That's the good thing about me turning sixteen; I can use my body if I need to. I'm a hot little fucker so I knew Drew wouldn't turn me down. I'm the legal age now.

_MUSIC_

"Lex you're late again?" Miss Hart stated.

"Yeah I'm sorry Miss H."

"What were you doing?"

"Eating."

"Really?"

"Yeah I was in the cafeteria."

"I'll let you off today but I'm mad at you."

"What did I do now?"

"I was talking to Miss Torres and it seems you've been a right bitch today."

"Does everyone like this woman?"

"Yes Alex because she's a nice person."

She's a nice looking person.

"You've always been nice to me and good in my lessons so why not for other teachers?" Miss Hart is really cool that's why and now that I come to think of it… sort of hot. Maybe that's the reason.

"I like this lesson and I like you. I don't like others."

"But you can't act like that, it's not okay."

"I can't just change myself. I don't like people but that's just how I am."

"I don't care. You have to start behaving." She nagged.

"I'll try, but I doubt it."

"ALEX?!"

"Okay okay, now what do I do?"

"Work by yourself today, that's what you do best."

"Alright."

"Write and compose a song ready to perform next lesson."

"Piece of cake."

"Okay then, get started."

I'm perfect at writing songs, the words just flow through me like anything. I want so badly to be a singer when I'm older; you wouldn't think that looking at me but it's my dream.

_On the other side of a street I knew,  
Stood a guy that looked like you,  
I guess that's déjà vu,  
But I thought this can't be true,  
Cause you moved to west L.A or New York or Santa Fe,  
Or where ever to get away from me._

Oh but that one night,  
Was more than just right,  
I didn't leave you cause I was all through,  
Oh I was overwhelmed and frankly scared as hell,  
Because I really fell for you.

**_*flashback*_**

**_"Don't go!" I cried._**

**_I was lying on the bed completely naked and Tony was rummaging through his drawers packing all his clothes. We'd just finished 'making love' when he told me that he was no longer interested and that he was leaving me. He said I was too immature and that this was all just one big game to him. Why did I let it happen? I believed every word he spoke but he didn't mean a thing. Why would he? He's a thirty year old man and I'm just fourteen. _**

**_"Shut up. You're such a mess, you're a little child, why would I stay?" He laughed._**

**_"I thought you loved me."_**

**_"No and I never did."_**

**_*End flashback*_**

_On the other side of a downward spiral,  
My love for you went viral,  
And I loved you every mile you drove away,  
But now here you are again,  
So let's skip the "how you been",  
And get down to the "more than friends" at last,_

_Oh but that one night,  
Is still the highlight,  
I did need you but you wouldn't come to,_**_  
_**_Oh I was overwhelmed and frankly scared as hell,  
Because I really fell for you.  
__**  
**__Oh I swear to ya,  
I'll be there for ya,  
This is not a drive by,  
Just a shy girl looking for a 2 ply,  
Hefty bag to hold my love,  
When you move me everything is groovy,  
They don't like it sue me,  
The way you do me,  
Oh I swear to ya,  
Can't you be there for me,  
This is not a drive by._

That night, two years ago, was the day it all spiralled. I used to be good in school, I was a virgin, I was shy but when he broke my heart it all changed.

"Alex, we're packing up now, how much have you done?" Miss Hart asked.

"I'm done, it never takes me long"

"Okay that's amazing, you ready to perform next lesson then?"

"Yeah, sure thing." I smiled.

"I'll see you next lesson and be good!"

"I'll try." I joked.

Miss Hart laughed at me and then I went out to find Taylor.

"Alex, what was up with you at break?"

"Oh nothing I just wanted to get away."

"Oh. Are you okay now?" Taylor questioned.

"Yeah I'm good."

"You spoke to Hannah yet?"

"No I haven't seen her."

"You probably should, I think she was hurt by what you said." Taylor told me as we walked down the cobbled concrete.

"I will do."

_LUNCH_

"Well what do you want to do for lunch?"

"Umm I'm not sure; we should just go find Hannah."

"Oh speaking of the devil, here she comes." Taylor chuckled.

Hannah approached us both with a very mischievous look on her face.

"Oh my god guys look what I managed to get off David!" She boasted.

I peered inside her open bag and studied the content. Inside were several small bottles of vodka.

"Hannah! If you get caught with that booze you are dead, and if we join in then we're dead!" Taylor exclaimed.

"Live a little Tay, we drinking it now Han?" I asked.

"Yeah if you're up for it."

"Definitely." I certified.

"You coming Taylor?" Hannah always tried to include her.

"No, I'm good."

We both ran outside and sat beneath the tree where me and Tay did before school. It was the perfect place to hang because no one ever went there. We laid down on the green grass and just relaxed, Hannah pulled two bottles out, one for each of us, and we began to consume the contents. There was nothing better than vodkal! We'd both become pretty smashed, we were rolling around all over the floor and the slightest things became hilarious.

"Oh my god Han, it's spinning."

"I know."

Somehow her bag had gotten moved during our whole drinking session so I tried to stand so I could retrieve it. That was a big mistake; the second I took one step forward I fell right back down again, landing directly on top of Hannah. I was pinning her down and she wasn't able to move an inch, she was squirming beneath me which was giving me pleasure in all the right places.

"Kiss me." Hannah murmured.

I knew it was just her drunken talk but I couldn't help but comply. I leant forward and smashed our lips together. I could taste the vodka on her tongue and her breath reeked of it, I didn't care though, we melded together and I got lost in the moment. We were sadly broken from our trance when someone cleared their throat. It literally scared me half to death and caused me to fall off Hannah whacking my head when I hit the floor.

"What the fuck?" I snapped looking up at our interrupter. There stood Miss Torres.

"Well this is something I did not expect." She announced.

"I I I can explain." Hannah started.

"Hannah are you drunk?"

She just laughed and signalled that maybe she was drunk just a little.

"Alex, are you drunk as well?"

"Of course not, and would I lie to you?" I winked.

"Oh my god Alex."

"You are so sexy Miss Torres." I complimented.

Hannah went to kiss me again but Miss Torres pried us apart.

"I don't think so! Alex get the bottles and put them all in that bag now!"

I picked up all the bottles, and as carefully as I could, I placed them in Hannah's bag.

"You girls could be in so much trouble."

We just laughed, we were so pissed off our heads that we didn't care.

"I think you're really fit miss."

"Alex, be quite now!"

"Kiss me and I will."

"Alex stop!"

_MISS TORRES' POV_

I have to admit, I wanted to kiss Alex so bad. I had done since I heard her call me fucking annoying this morning. I'd both hated her and wanted her at the same time, she was a smug bitch but it was so hot on her.

"Alright Alex you sit there and Hannah you can sit over there."

I kept them separated as I didn't want them to start making out again and then I sent an email to the head telling him that I was keeping the two girls out of their next lesson so I could sort out an 'argument' between the two.

"Alright girls now you can have this lesson to sober up and then you're going to class!"

I gave them both a glass of water, taking Hannah's bag in the process and went back to my desk. I transferred all of the bottles into my bag so that I could recycle them once I got home, I couldn't risk putting them in the bin here in case I got caught. I still found it hard to believe that I just saw Alex making out with a girl! I'm pretty sure that if I hadn't gone out and stopped them, they would have done a lot more. I couldn't seem to shift the image of Alex on top of Hannah; I couldn't help but wish it was me instead.

"Miss I am so sorry. Are we going to get in shit for this? It's just my parents will kill me. Please don't tell." Hannah pleaded.

"Fine but this better not happen again."

"I promise I will never drink alcohol in school!"

"Okay then. Take this note and go to your next lesson."

"Am I in trouble?"

"No, be careful sweetie and not again!"

"I promise!" Hannah assured me.

She took the note and then left not so much as glancing at Alex.

"So Alex." I began.

"What."

"Someone's a little moody?"

"Yeah well, I said some things and you interrupted some things."

"Would you have had sex with her out there?"

"I was drunk, I would have done anything."

"But people could have seen."

"I didn't care, I still don't, look can I go now?"

"Yeah whatever but we are talking about what just happened in your detention."

She completely ignored me and took her note.

_ALEX'S POV – (HISTORY)_

I only have this last lesson to suffer through before I have to head over to Drew's. I'm not scared or nervous about going there 'cause I'm experience. It's not like I've never done it before.

"Where have you been?" Taylor asked as soon as I took my seat.

"Miss Torres caught me and Hannah drinking and let us calm down in her room."

"Why doesn't she like hate you?"

"Yeah."

"So why would she help you?"

"How the fuck would I know? What's with all these questions Taylor?"

"I'll just shut up shall I?" She spat.

"Yeah that'd be perfect thanks."

I probably should be nicer to these people I call my friends but right now I'm extremely stressed. I'm developing a crush for my maths teacher and I actually liked making out with Hannah. Please don't let me be a god damn dyke.

"Alex Russo!" Mrs Tyre yelled.

"What?"

"You don't talk to me in that tone, now why were you talking?"

"I was asking Taylor something."

"Well you are in my lesson and that's very rude!"

"When did you get the impression that I gave a fuck?"

The whole class erupted in 'oohs' and 'ahhs' they all loved it when I caused a scene, it gave them some entertainment.

"You don't use such language! You should pay attention, history is very interesting!"

"I'd rather watch paint dry."

"You are being very rude."

"Sue me."

"Get out now!" She roared.

"It would be my pleasure." I smirked.

I'd hardly lasted a quarter of the lesson and I couldn't be bothered to hang around. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and composed a new text to Drew.

**A: I can come to yours now if you want?**

**D: Don't you have school?**

**A: Got sent out.**

**D: Oh. I can come and get you if you want?**

**A: Yeah that's good. I'll be at the entrance.**

If I'd have had to walk to his place it would have taken around half an hour but driving it's only ten minutes. I sat on the steps of the old, run-down school and just waited for his new, shining Mercedes to pull up in the car park. When he finally arrived, he speed right up to the steps and skidded to a halt directly in front of me, I swear he was like a little kid with a new toy.

"Hey gorgeous."

"Hi."

I got into his car and greeted him with a lingering kiss then I leaned over and whispered in his ear, '_You'll get a lot more when we get to yours baby._'

"Are you always willing to put out for your dad?" He sneered.

"No it's for Max, he's only four and I won't have you sending people round the house when he's there."

"Aren't you the great big sister. Does he know how much of a slag you are though? Do your parents know?"

"Nope and they're not going to. I live my life the way I want to and there's nothing they can do about it anyway."

The rest of the drive was filled with meaningless chatter about our everyday lives, which was only spoken to fill the silence. Once we pulled into his drive he grabbed my hand and pulled me through the front door, up the stairs and straight to his room, man was he eager. As soon as the door had shut he began to bark his orders.

"Take your clothes off now!"

It's not the first time I've been with an older man and I know that they like to be dominating and assert their authority so I obeyed his orders. Sexily, I stripped all of my clothing off until I was stood in front of him completely stark.

"Get down on your knees."

He wanted a blowjob to start it off; they're not that bad to give really though they did tend to make me feel sick.

"Now suck it."

I attentively reached forward and undid the buckle of his belt so that I could pull his jeans all the way down; once I'd done that he stepped out of the trousers and threw the piece of clothing away. Next his boxers were thrown out of the way and his member was in my mouth. It tasted like all the others, and man there are a lot to compare it too, and it wasn't pleasant for me. It never is though, just for the man that I'm giving it to. He didn't even last long and he was cumming in my mouth, I swallowed it all and then stood back up.

"Get on the bed, on all fours."

Most men I did this with loved to ride me doggy style but personally I don't see the appeal at all. I did what I was told though and crawled up onto his bed and the second I was situated he was thrusting inside of me. It never hurt when I had sex anymore, it gave me a bit of pleasure but it was more like a chore now. He lasted a bit longer fucking me, like ten minutes, and then he emptied all of his seed into my belly. Shit, good job I have the morning after pill at home.

"You are a good fuck Lex." He praised.

"Yeah I know." I relished in the compliments about my sexual performance.

"Let me get dressed and I'll drive you home."

_HOME_

It was about four when I finally walked through the door to my house.

"Lexy!" Max squealed.

He ran up to me and gave me a massive hug, this is the only dude that gets to show me affection.

"Hey little man, how was school?"

"It was okay but I missed you."

"I missed you too."

"I'm really hungry." He complained.

"Have they not fed you?"

"No."

"Fucks sake," I muttered "Come on then, I'll do you some tea."

I got the little cutie settled at the dinner table and gave him hotdogs and chips, his favourite. I hate the fact that my parents treat him the way that they do, it's ridiculous. They don't feed him, bathe him or even look after him I have to do everything. I don't mind though at least then I know he's safe.

"Are you all full up now or do you want more?" I asked.

"I'm really full."

"Okay then, do you want to go watch a film in my room?"

"Yes!"

He loves curling up on my bed with me and watching telly, he says it makes him feel safe. I don't mind doing it because I love being close to my bud and I'm really knackered today after that sex.

**Review?;)**


	2. Un Año Sin Lluvia

**Chapter Two – Un Año Sin Lluvia**

_AT HOME_

My stupid fucked up parents woke me up this morning. They were yelling and screaming at six O'clock in the morning, who's even awake at that time. It scared Max half to death, it always did when they argued, and so he ran into my room. He was crying and shaking, the poor thing.

"Max don't worry about them, it's okay." I soothed.

"I don't like it."

"I know buddy. How about we get dressed and washed then I'll take you out for breakfast so we can get away?"

"McDonalds?!"

"Anything you want."

I got the shower in my en-suite ready and set it to the perfect temperature for Max. I let him use my shower most of the time because he was scared that someone would walk into the main bathroom.

"There you go Maxy, you get in and I'll get you your towel."

I ran into his room and grabbed his fireman Sam towel which he loved and some clothes to wear.

"I've left your stuff on my bed." I shouted through the door.

"Okay." He replied.

Now it was my turn, I went into the bathroom and turned the shower on. I loved the water really hot; it gave me some sort of relaxing motion. I hated being in there for too long though so I was in and out within ten minutes. I just washed my hair, my body and then shaved. That's all I needed to do. I walked out wrapped in my towel just as my dad came walking down the hallway towards me. He reached out and tried to grab my ass. Yep, he's drunk.

"Fuck off." I spat.

He shrugged his shoulders at me and carried on walking. Why do I have to put up with this really? Max was already out and dressed when I got into my room so I sent him downstairs to pack his bag while I got ready. I grabbed the hairdryer and finalized my hair; I never curled it or straightened it because it looked fine in its natural wavy state. I applied the small amount of makeup which I wore, that consisted of; blusher, mascara and foundation and then popped one of the morning-after pills into my mouth. I dressed myself in a white, tight crop top and a short denim skirt. I looked fine.

I went to find Max to see if he was done with his bag.

"Okay Max. Do you have your reading log?"

"Check."

"Your reading book?"

"Check."

"Your lunch?"

"Check."

"So you're all set?"

"Yes I am, have you done your bag?"

"Max I don't bother with mine. You ready to go?"

He nodded to tell me that he was while I stole a ten pound note out of mom's purse to pay for the food. We finally left the house leaving the raised voices behind.

_SCHOOL_

I ended up being five minutes late to registration as there was a big queue in Maccies.

"Alex you're late." Miss Torres stated as I walked through the door.

"Well no shit Sherlock." I retorted smiling smugly at the reaction I got from everyone else in the room.

"Outside now."

I turned around and walked straight out the door I'd just entered. I leaned against the wall waiting for her to come out and lecture me.

"You didn't go to detention yesterday."

"Yeah I know I had somewhere to be."

"Detention isn't a choice; you can't just decide whether or not you're going to turn up."

"Well you obviously can because I did."

"Stop being a smug bitch Alex. I'm not putting up with it; you've got a detention at lunch and after school."

"Yeah okay whatever."

"And you will be attending."

She held the door open for me and I barged past her. As if the bitch gave me two detentions, she was still smoking though.

_BIOLOGY_

I walked into the classroom and Mr Rayle beckoned me over.

"Alex you missed last lesson, so you don't have a partner. I'm going to pair you with Hannah as she also missed it. The only spare desk is the one right at the back. You two will sit there. The assignment is on the board, start as soon as she arrives."

I walked to the back and just as I sat down, I saw Hannah arrive she was called over, just as I was, and presumably given the same talk because she came and sat beside me.

"Hannah about yesterday…" I started.

"It was stupid, yeah I know." Hannah said.

"It was more than stupid, neither of us are dykes and we should just forget that it happened."

"Yeah and I'm going to forget that you ever happened, just don't talk to me anymore." She was acting as if she was better than me and that pissed me off.

"You fucking told me to kiss you."

"Yeah and it was wrong. I am not gay."

"Neither am I!"

"Just fucking stay away from me!" Hannah shouted.

"With pleasure you fucking slag!"

"Calling me a slag? That's rich. How many guys have you fucked? You know since Tony discarded your trampy ass, you've probably fucked girls as well; I'd be surprised if you don't have any STD's."

"You're a real bitch, you know that?"

"ME?"

"That was low Hannah, you know how much I loved him."

"Shame he didn't love you back. He just wanted your pussy."

There was no way that I was going to sit here and work with her so I got up and left the classroom. Mr Rayle tried to shout after me but I wasn't interested in him or anyone for that matter.

By the time I'd got outside the tears were pouring down my face and I just couldn't contain my emotions any longer. I spotted Steven, one of my closest guy friends, smoking over by the bus shelters so I decided to go and stand with him. I wiped my eyes as best as I could to try and make it look as though I wasn't upset but I don't think it worked.

"Alex what's up?"

"Nothing just my damn allergies." I laughed.

It was obvious he didn't believe me but he also knew that I never liked people to see me as someone who has feelings so he changed the subject.

"You want a drag?" He asked, holding his fag out towards me.

"Yeah go on then."

I inhaled deeply and the fumes filled my mouth. I don't smoke regularly but every so often when I need to calm down I'll just have a quick, sneaky smoke.

"Why are people such pricks, Ste?"

"I dunno Lex, anyone would be a fool to treat you badly. You deserve the best."

"I really don't."

"Yeah you do. People think you're all bad but really you're a sweetheart and you just need someone to care for you."

He was being so sweet and I felt so hurt and alone, I took advantage of the situation and pressed our lips together, it felt okay but there were no sparks.

"I actually really like you Alex."

"I like you too." But I don't. Not the way he means, I just like him as a friend but if I go along with this then maybe I'll learn to like him in that way and I'll become normal.

He mashed our lips together in a heated frenzy, I granted him access inside my mouth and our tongues battled for dominance.

_MISS TORRES' POV_

I was in the classroom teaching my class when I looked out the window and spotted Alex. She was kissing a boy who I didn't recognise and it looked to be getting quite intimate. I did not understand that girl, yesterday she was making out with a girl. Is she just one of those who'll give anyone a go?

"Class get on with the work I just have to pop out." They all nodded at me and then continued writing. It was a sixth form class so I knew that they could be trusted. Alex and mystery boy were still in the exact same position when I finally got outside.

"Alex? I don't think that's appropriate do you?"

She looked up and seemed pissed to see me.

"Fuck off."

"Alex you don't get to talk to me like that!" I turned to look at the boy, "What's your name?"

"It's Steven miss."

"Well Steven it's time to get back to class."

He turned to Alex and gave her a peck on the cheek then walked away.

"Alex why weren't you in lesson?"

"I walked out of biology."

"Why?"

"I couldn't be bothered with it."

"That's a terrible excuse."

"At least it's honest."

"Either way it's terrible, you need to get your ass back in that school and go to biology."

"That's not happening."

"And why's that?"

"I just don't fucking want to." She yelled.

"Don't talk to me like that, I'm going to get well and truly pissed off at you. Just get out of my sight and I swear to god you better be in your next lesson." I yelled just as loud as she had.

She glared at me but didn't retort, maybe my yelling worked. She walked away just as Steven had and headed in his direction. I thought maybe she was a lesbian after seeing her with Hannah and that gave me hope, I don't know why 'cause it's not like I ever had a chance, being her teacher and all, but it just did. She's a beautiful girl and I will find out why she acts the way she does. I will help her.

_ALEX'S POV_

I felt like shit after treating Miss Torres like that but I hate the way I feel towards her. It's like she's got me in a trance and I absolutely despise that. And I just had to kiss Steven and tell him I like him when I don't. He's such a sweet guy and he doesn't deserve that but the worse thing is even though it's wrong I think I'm going to date him anyway.

I hadn't brought my timetable so I didn't know what lesson I actually had next. I needed Taylor for that sort of thing so I went to wait outside Biology as there was only about five minutes left of first lesson.

"What's the matter with you?" Taylor asked. She was still mad at me for having a go at her.

"Nothing really, Hannah was just pissing me off."

"Everyone pisses you off."

"I don't wanna argue."

"Let's just go to next lesson."

"What do we have?"

"History."

"Not a-fucking-gain!" I groaned.

"Yep and you should really try to be less rude this time."

_HISTORY_

I really wasn't in the mood for history at all today, all this shit happened in the past so who gives a fuck now? I didn't even bother to concentrate I just pulled out my songbook and began to reminisce through all my previous songs. I have about a hundred but I wrote them when I was about eight and nine so they're pretty shit.

"Alex? What did I just say?" Mrs Tyre boomed.

"I couldn't tell you." I admitted.

"That's not the right attitude, give me that book."

Did the bitch think she was getting my songbook? I don't think so. That's my whole life and all my memories, it's practically a diary.

"You're not having it."

"Give me the book or go out."

"Bye." I picked up my bag and shoved the book inside. I was sick of being treated like that, no one ever gives me a chance to prove myself.

**A: Lasted just five minutes in that lesson. That's got to be some sort of record.**

**S: Ha babe. Where are you now?**

**A: Just outside History.**

**S: Come meet me. I'm by the toilets in S block.**

**A: I'm on my way Ste.**

I placed my phone back in my pocket and set off to meet Steven.

"Hey baby girl." He greeted me with a hug and I breathed in his lynx sent.

I didn't fancy him but he was still a close friend and I loved spending time with him. He sat down and leant his back on the wall then pulled me down so that I was perched on his lap.

"What did you do to get kicked out this time?"

"Jack shit. I wouldn't give her one of my books."

"Man that woman is pathetic."

"I know."

"So Lex, did you get in trouble about the whole kissing thing?"

"No I have detention with her today though so she'll probably lecture me about it then."

"Yeah I'm sorry it was my fault." He apologised.

"No it wasn't. I wanted to kiss you."

He took that as an invitation to kiss me again. He lingered and then filled the gap connecting our lips together. He wasn't like all the other guys I'd been with he was sweet, loving and he didn't treat me like I was just a piece of meat. I liked that and even though he's a guy and I don't find him attractive, feeling loved is enough.

"I happen to think you're beautiful." He whispered.

"You're not so bad yourself." I beamed.

"But seriously I've liked you for a while but you never seemed into me so I didn't act on it."

"You should have." I smiled.

"At least I have you now."

"Do you want to go out on a date tonight?" I suggested.

"Of course I would."

"Then that's settled."

I snuggled into his chest and we just laid there in a comfortable silence until the bell went.

"People are going to come out in a minute so we should get up." Steven said.

He carefully lifted me up off of his lap and then stood up himself. He took a hold of my hand and we walked in the direction of the front doors so we could go outside.

_BREAK_

Once we found a spot among the grass which was dry and shady we sat down and embraced. He seemed to be really clingy and into the relationship, which we haven't even started yet, and it made me feel really guilty. This was nothing to me; you can call it my beard. The only possible thing I could get from it is if I suddenly fall for him and it turns out I'm not a lesbian.

"Where do you want to go on our date?" Steven asked me.

"I don't know. We could go to the cinema?" I suggested.

"I'd love that." He tightened his grip around me and pecked my forehead, "So what's happened with you and Hannah?"

"How do you even know about that?"

"She's been spreading shit about you to people, saying you're gay and stuff Cameron told me."

That stupid fucking slag.

"I don't even know she's just being an absolute dick to me."

"Ignore her. You're ten times the girl she'll ever be."

He really is beyond sweet, I could get used to having him around.

"Thanks babe."

"It's okay Lex."

The bell rang to signal that break was over. I jumped up out of Steven's arms and waited for him to stand. We softly kissed and then said our goodbyes.

_SPANISH_

"Hola señor Ryan."

"Hola Alex."

Spanish is one of my favourite lessons aside from Music. It's only because my mother was Spanish and so it's in my heritage. There was a stage when I was younger where she refused to speak English and so I learnt a lot of my native language. Once everyone was in the classroom and seated Mr Ryan began to explain the task.

"This aim of this lesson is to do a meaningful piece of writing. It can be about love, about life about anything you want, any questions?" I raised my hand.

"Yes Alex?"

"Could I do mine in the form of a song, please?"

"Of course, any more questions?" Complete silence… "Okay get started then."

I pulled my songbook out of my bag and began to write. I never had to plan my stories at all they just came naturally.

_Di que sientes cuando pienso en ti,  
Una y otra vez,  
Cada instante que no estás junto a mi,  
Mi mundo esta al revés,  
Camino en un desierto cuando tú te vas,  
No sé si es un espejismo, te siento tan real,  
Baby._

_Quiero volverte a ver,  
Para calmar mi sed,  
Un dia sin ti es como un año sin ver llover,  
Si escapas otra vez no sobreviviré,  
Un dia sin ti es como un año sin ver llover._

**_*Flashback*_**

**_I can't help but think about Tony. He just used me and left, he never cared. I was deluded and thought that we were going to be together forever but it was all just an act. I wanted to hear his voice one more time so I rang him._**

**_"Tony is that you?" I hoped._**

**_"Alex?"_**

**_"Yes it's me."_**

**_"What are you doing calling me?" He yelled._**

**_"I needed to talk to you."_**

**_"I don't want to talk to you. I don't want to hear from you again… EVER!"_**

**_"You don't mean that Tony."_**

**_"Yes I do. You were just some ripe flesh that I could fuck and that's it. Get that into your stupid head. You're a whore and put out now I'm gone."_**

**_Then he hung up and I was left listening to the dialling tone. _**

**_*End flashback*_**

_Contando estrellas,  
Oigo en mi mente tu voz,  
Oyes tú la mía,  
Mi corazón está sufriendo la soledad,  
Soy un desorden,  
Camino en hojas secas si no estás aqui,  
En mi vida,_  
_Regresa que un diluvio lloraré por ti,  
Oh baby._

_Quiero volverte a ver, para calmar mi sed,  
Un dia sin ti es como un año sin ver llover,  
Si escapas otra vez no sobreviviré,  
Un dia sin ti es como un año sin ver llover._

_Regresa aqui,  
Abrazame,  
Soy un desierto sin tu querer,  
Vuelve pronto a mi,  
No seas así,  
Porque un dia sin ti es como un año sin ver llover._

_Quiero volverte a ver, para calmar mi sed,  
Un dia sin ti es como un año sin ver llover,  
Si escapas otra vez no sobreviviré,  
Un dia sin ti es como un año sin ver llover._

I'm not going to lie and say I don't miss him anymore because I do. I was in love after all. The only thing is I don't know if I was in love with him or just in love with the way he treated me.

Mr Ryan was walking around the room observing what his students had written so far, "May I look at what you've written Alex?"

"Of course you can sir."

I gave him my book and he read through the song. When he was finished there was a big face eating grin plastered on his face.

"That's amazing, you're really going to go places." See this is why he's one of my favourite teachers.

"Thank you."

"Would you like to perform it to the class?"

"Yeah sure."

"Okay, one second." He went to the front of the classroom and whistled to get everybody's attention, "Okay guys, Alex is going to perform her song to us." Everyone cheered; I think they were all just curious to see if I could sing or not. I slowly walked to the front of the classroom, took a deep breath and began.

_Di que sientes cuando pienso en ti,  
Una y otra vez,  
Cada instante que no estás junto a mi,  
Mi mundo esta al revés,  
Camino en un desierto cuando tú te vas,  
No sé si es un espejismo, te siento tan real,  
Baby._

_Quiero volverte a ver,  
Para calmar mi sed,  
Un dia sin ti es como un año sin ver llover,  
Si escapas otra vez no sobreviviré,  
Un dia sin ti es como un año sin ver llover._

_Contando estrellas,  
Oigo en mi mente tu voz,  
Oyes tú la mía,  
Mi corazón está sufriendo la soledad,  
Soy un desorden,  
Camino en hojas secas si no estás aqui,  
En mi vida,_  
_Regresa que un diluvio lloraré por ti,  
Oh baby._

_Quiero volverte a ver, para calmar mi sed,  
Un dia sin ti es como un año sin ver llover,  
Si escapas otra vez no sobreviviré,  
Un dia sin ti es como un año sin ver llover._

_Regresa aqui,  
Abrazame,  
Soy un desierto sin tu querer,  
Vuelve pronto a mi,  
No seas así,  
Porque un dia sin ti es como un año sin ver llover._

_Quiero volverte a ver, para calmar mi sed,  
Un dia sin ti es como un año sin ver llover,  
Si escapas otra vez no sobreviviré,  
Un dia sin ti es como un año sin ver llover._

The second that I finished singing the whole class erupted in cheers, even Taylor was smiling. I guess I was out of the dog house with her.

_LUNCH_

"You wanna sit with me at lunch Lex?" Taylor asked.

"I'd love to but I have detention with Miss Torres."

"Oh well have fun." She laughed.

"I will." Sarcasm leaked through my words.

I weaved my way through the crowds of student and made my way to my teachers classroom. The door was closed so I knocked the big, wooden frame.

"Come in." She called out.

I entered the room and waited for her orders. She pointed at the desk directly in front of hers and motioned for me to sit. As I took my seat she jumped on top of her desk so that her legs were dangling off the edge facing me and her hands were gripping the edge.

"I want to like you." She admitted.

"I don't want you to." I was being stubborn and I hated it. Miss Torres had that quality that I adored; I just wanted to make her proud.

"You don't want to treat me the way you do, I can see it in your eyes."

"You can see jack shit in my eyes." I looked down subconsciously to avoid her gaze.

"What's the point?"

"The point of what?!"

"Having a go at me and treating me the way you do."

"I treat people like that and I always have. Get over it!"

"What happened to Hannah?"

"What?" She was changing the subject and I didn't like the new topic.

"You were kissing her yesterday and now you're kissing Steven."

"I kiss who I want, it doesn't concern you."

"Do you like Hannah?"

"No." I spat.

"Steven."

"Yes." I lied.

"No you don't." It was as if she could read my mind.

"How the fuck would you know? I do like Steven."

"I don't think you do at all."

"It really doesn't matter about what you think." That wasn't true; I didn't want her to think badly of me, as much as I don't want to admit it I like her.

"Do you really mean that?"

"Yes!" I ran my hands through my silky hair and sighed in exasperation.

"Fine." She looked hurt and I immediately regretted saying that.

_MISS TORRES' POV_

I really thought that we could at least be friends. I can tell that she has such potential but she just won't let anyone in. I hate the way she looks at me; like I'm something she despises. I don't know what I did to upset her so much but I already wish I hadn't done it. Steven's a lucky bastard but I'm almost one hundred per cent sure that she doesn't like him and it's going to end badly. I swear to god if he hurts her I'll make him pay.

_ALEX'S POV_

Lunch was finally over and I stood up to leave when Miss Torres stopped me.

"I'm always here, if you need to talk." Why did she have to be so fucking sweet?

I ignored her and just carried on walking. I had R.E. with Miss Opal next and I really couldn't be bothered.

_R.E_

"Taylor, how was your lunch?"

"It was fine. I see you survived Miss Torres' rath." She joked.

"Just about."

"Okay then class today we're talking about god." Miss Opal said causing most of the class to groan. "Who believes in god?" About half of the class raised their hands. "You guys can go and stand over there." She pointed to the left corner of the room and they complied. "So that means the rest of you don't right?" We all nodded in agreement. "Why don't you Ryan?"

Ryan was one of the skater dudes; he had brown, dreadlocked hair, too many tats to count and piercings to go with that. Looking at him you'd think he was a right douche but really he's a sweetie pie.

"There are so many people who suffer in the world and I just think that if there really was a god he'd have done something about it."

Fair point.

"That's good. What about you Sarah?" She was an absolute slag. She opened her legs for anyone and was open to anything.

"There are too many different stories about god that are going around; it's almost like different rumours. They're called rumours for a reason; they're not true."

Once again, fair point.

"What do you think Alex?"

Don't get me involved!

"I don't know."

"Give it a go." She pushed.

"No I don't have a clue."

"Al-"She started to say my name but I interrupted.

"No."

The whole class was now staring at us and giving me a dodgy look. Sometimes they didn't like it when I disrupted things but I don't really care to be honest.

"Alex go outside!" that was beyond harsh to send me out all because I didn't know why I don't believe in god, total bs.

I didn't really have anywhere to go so I decided to just go home. As I was walking up to the big, double doors I heard a yell from behind me. I turned around and there stood Miss Torres.

"What do you want?" I questioned.

"Where you going?"

"Home."

"No you're not." By now she had caught up and was standing directly in front of the doors and me.

"Yes I am." I turned around to walk out but she took a hold of my wrist, I tried to ignore the sparks that coursed through me at her touch but it was too hard.

"Let's talk."

"I don't want to talk."

"I don't care." She headed towards her classroom dragging me along with her. Once we were inside she shut the door and sat down on her desk. I decided to sit down exactly where I had done at lunch.

"Miss why can't you just leave me alone?"

"Because I refuse to, you need help and eventually you will let me in."

"No I won't."

"You're sixteen Alex. You can't handle this all on your own."

"Funny that. I always have and I always will."

"But you haven't though."

"What?" I was getting irritated.

"I was speaking to some of the teachers here and they told me that you used to be a little angel in year nine and then suddenly one day you just changed."

"People change."

"Not like that they don't; something happened, didn't it?"

"No, look can I just go?"

"You're not going Alex until you talk to me."

"What do you think I'm doing now?"

"I mean actually talk. Open up to me and tell me what happened."

"Look, it's the second day back today. I don't know you and I don't even know if you can be trusted so I'm not going to talk to you or open up to you. Give it a rest and just let it go, you'll never be the go to girl for me, get over it." I spat. There was hurt radiating from our eyes and it killed me.

"Just get out then." Her tears were threatening to fall and if I'm quite honest so were mine.

I had geography next but there was no way in hell I was attending. I felt hurt and confused; I really liked Miss Torres and I'd known her two days, imagine how I'm going to feel after knowing her for like a month. She's just so sweet and she cares so much, why can't I just fucking let her in?

**Reviews?:')**


	3. Because Of You

**Chapter Three – Because Of You**

The movie I'm going to go see with Steven starts in an hour and he'll be picking me up fifteen minutes before to make sure we get there in time. That doesn't give me long to get ready especially when I can't find a single thing to wear. Everyone else in the house has fucked off out so I'm home alone with Max. That's the only annoying thing, if they don't get back I have to bring him with me.

"Bud, I can't find anything to wear!"

"What do I know? I'm four years old." He huffed. Then he left me alone in my room he's in a right foul mood and I don't even know why.

"That's a lot of help!" I shouted after him.

I carried on sifting through my clothes tossing anything that was not satisfactory, I managed to narrow it down to my sparkly, low cut halter top with ripped jeans or my pink, tight summery dress. I chose the dress because it showed off my figure a lot better and really accented my boobs. I was shaken from my daze when the phone began to ring it wasn't going for long so they either hung up or Max answered it.

"Lex!" Max yelled.

Yep, he answered it. I ran down the stairs and straight into the living room to take the phone off the little monster.

**A: Hello?**

**MT: Hello, it's Miss Torres, are your parents' home?**

**A: What are you doing ringing my house? And no they're not.**

I hated how sweet and beautiful her voice sounded.

**MT: You didn't attend your detention so I want to speak to whoever is in charge.**

**A: You told me to go away actually and I'm in charge right now.**

**MT: When will they be home?**

**A: Your guess is as good as mine.**

**MT: Is everything alright at home?**

She cared so much, and as much as I wanted to despise that, it warmed me inside.

**A: It's none of your business really now is that all you wanted?**

**MT: Yes. I will be ringing back.**

**A: Yeah okay. Good luck with that.**

I hung up the phone and turned to glare at Max.

"You stupid idiot, you don't answer the phone and you know that!" I scolded.

"I'm sorry Lex." He looked like he was about to cry.

"Sorry is not good enough." I spat.

I know that he hadn't really done much wrong but Miss Torres was starting to piss me off and I had to take it out on someone. I went straight back up into my room and grabbed my phone I couldn't be bothered to wait twenty minutes so I was texting Steven to get me now.

**A: Come and fetch me now.**

**S: Okay, I'm on my way.**

He only lives about five minutes down the road so he won't be long.

"Max I'm heading out, mom and dad will be home soon." I told him.

"No! Please don't leave me alone." He cried.

"Quit being a baby they won't be long."

I slammed the door behind me and went to wait by the mailbox. I don't know if it's wise to leave Max alone, I know it's really sly, but I'm going to do it anyway. I just want everybody to hate me and ignore me that would be so much easier. No guilt and no hassle. Steven's Mercedes pulled up directly in front of me and I hopped in.

"You okay?" He asked concern taken over his face.

"Yeah I'm good let's just go." I smiled.

Somehow as soon as I was with him I felt happy again because I actually liked him, just as a friend obviously, but he knew how to make me smile.

"What movie we going to see?"

"I thought I'd take you to watch that princess protection programme?" He suggested.

"Yeah sure I'm up for that."

The drive to the theatre was quiet but a comfortable quiet. We were fine just being in each other's presence; there was no talking needed. The movie we were going to see is a new Disney film starring Demi Lovato and Selena Gomez. I've wanted to see the film ever since the adverts started playing on the TV, which does mean that I still watch Disney. I'm not going to lie and say I don't, I may be sixteen but it's just too cool.

"Babe I'll get the tickets and you can get the food." He pulled into the parking space and pulled out his money. He handed half to me and kept the rest.

It was so cute how he was paying for everything. I just wish that I liked him because we could have something special. I chose popcorn and jelly babies, everyone knows I love jelly babies; they're like the best sweets ever! I got us a tango ice blast each as well and that still left Ste with five pounds.

"How much did the tickets cost?" I asked.

"They were six pound each."

I handed him the change and then we went in search for our block number. We walked into the screen room hand in hand and sat right at the back. I know what he's going to want to do and it won't be watching the movie. I was right because as soon as the lights dimmed down his arm was snaked round my neck. About half way through the movie, when Rosie and Carter were getting ready for the ball, he began to kiss my neck. It didn't take him long to find the pulse point and he was sucking as if his life depended on it. I didn't want him to though it just felt weird but I couldn't say that, I'm his girlfriend it's supposed to feel good. It did piss me off though if I'm honest, I came here to watch the fucking movie and I can't even do that.

"Well that was good." He smirked as the movie ended.

"Yeah." I agreed.

My phone was buzzing constantly in my bag and I couldn't be bothered to talk to anyone so I just turned it off.

"Oh I've marked you good." I grabbed the mirror out of my bag and had a look. There was a bright purple hickey right on the side of my neck. _Oh fucking great!_

"You dickhead!"

"What?"

"Take me the fuck home."

I wouldn't speak to him the whole ride back to mine; I was going to get hassled by my parents and then Miss Torres will probably have something to say. He tried to apologise numerous times but I wasn't having any of his shit. The second we pulled up on my drive I was straight out the car not even glancing back.

"Max! I'm sorry, where are you?" I called. There was no reply, I ran around the whole house looking for him but he was nowhere to be found. I did find something though. His room had been completely burnt, there was ash everywhere and it was obvious that it'd been recently sprayed with water. Shit! What have I done?

I pulled my phone out and quickly turned it back on; they'd probably been the ones ringing me. I had ten missed calls from my mom and about seven texts.

**_M: What the fuck have you done?_**

**_M: You had to look after him for one night!_**

**_M: You wait till I get a hold of you!_**

**_M: You fucking twat, you're lucky he's okay. Imagine what the police would do to me and your father._**

**_M: Get to the hospital now!_**

**_M: Max says you're on a date! You pulled this stunt for a boy, you fucking slag!_**

**_M: Hospital now!_**

The last one was sent five minutes ago. I'm not going, there's no way! Max is okay so I don't have to worry but I'm not going just to get killed by my parents who have the cheek to grill me when I make one mistake. How many mistakes have they made?! I have to leave this house at the moment, I can't stay here. I'd call Steven and get him to fetch me but I'm still mad at him. Taylor doesn't drive so I can't ask her and I don't really trust any of my other friends. I guess I'll just have to call Miss Torres; I have her number since she rang the house earlier.

**MT: Hello?**

**A: Hey you said you'd always be there when I needed you right?**

**MT: Alex?**

**A: Yeah it's Alex.**

**MT: What's wrong?**

**A: I can't be home right now can you please come and get me?**

**MT: I can't! Your parents will kill me and it will look dodgy.**

**A: It's not dodgy I just need to get away and my parents aren't home so they'd never no I went with you.**

**MT: I don't know.**

**A: Please. **Tears were starting to fall down my face, truth be told I was scared. My father groped me when he was happy, hit me when he was mad at my mom, so what would he do to me if he was mad at me? I don't know how far he will go and I don't want to know.

**MT: I'll be right there.**

**A: Don't you need my address?**

**MT: I have it off the files.**

**A: Okay bye.**

**MT: Bye.**

I hung up the phone and ran upstairs. I grabbed one of my bags from in my cupboard and piled all the clothes that I could fit in there. Then I took my school bag and put every single school book in there along with my pencil case and homework book. I didn't plan on coming home for a while; I needed them to calm down first. My phone buzzed and I reached over, I had two texts.

**M: I know you're at home now because Steven told me he dropped you off. I'm going back to get you.**

**MT: I'm here.**

I text my mother back; '**A: Why the fuck did you talk to Ste?' **Then I picked up all my stuff and ran out.

Miss Torres was sat in her Ford Fiesta at the front of my house I jumped in and she drove away.

"What happened?"

I'm tired of shying away, for once I need to open up.

"I messed up bad." I cried.

"What did you do?"

"I left my little brother home alone and he's only four. I was gone for about three hours and when I got back I couldn't find him. He'd somehow set fire to his room and now he's in hospital. He's okay but I know it's my fault. Now my mom's sending me threatening messages and I can't be around them now."

"What do you mean threatening messages?" I looked towards my teacher and the look of anger on her face surprised me.

"Just stuff like 'Wait till I get my hands on you' and calling me a slag and stuff."

"Sweetie that's not right and trust me you're not a slag."

"I know it's not right she's a shit mom but the slag part that's true. I've lost count of the amount of guys I've shagged. I practically sell my body to people to get my way."

"You haven't always been like that and you don't have to be."

"It's easier this way."

We kept quiet for the rest of the drive and I couldn't help but marvel at her beauty.

"Miss Torres?"

"You can call me Mitchie while we're not at school."

"Mitchie? I like that name."

"I like the name Alex."

"Anyway, do you have a spare room?" I asked.

"Yes I do and you can stay at my house for as long as you need to but you have to be careful because if people find out you're staying with me I could get in serious shit."

"I'll be really careful." I smiled.

I didn't feel like socialising so as soon as we got to her house I went straight up into the room I'd be staying in. My mom had sent me another message; **'Where the fuck are you?!' **and I chose not to reply. I sat on the neat bed and pulled out my songbook, that was always how I expressed myself, now whenever I'm sad or hurt or just confused I write a song.

_ I will not make the same mistakes that you did,  
I will not let myself cause my heart so much misery,  
I will not break the way you did,  
You fell so hard,  
I've learned the hard way, to never let it get that far._

Because of you,  
I'll never stray too far from the sidewalk,  
Because of you,  
I learned to play on the safe side,  
So I don't get hurt,  
Because of you,  
I find it hard to trust,  
Not only me, but everyone around me,  
Because of you,  
I am afraid.

I lose my way,  
And it's not too long before you point it out,  
I cannot cry,  
Because I know that's weakness in your eyes,  
I'm forced to fake, a smile, a laugh,  
Every day of my life,  
My heart can't possibly break,  
When it wasn't even whole to start with.

Because of you,  
I'll never stray too far from the sidewalk.  
Because of you,  
I learned to play on the safe side,  
So I don't get hurt,  
Because of you,  
I find it hard to trust,  
Not only me, but everyone around me,  
Because of you,  
I am afraid.

I watched you die,  
I heard you cry,  
Every night in your sleep,  
I was so young,  
You should have known better than to lean on me,  
You never thought of anyone else,  
You just saw your pain,  
And now I cry,  
In the middle of the night,  
For the same damn thing.

**_*Flashback*_**

**_"Don't leave me Jerry!" My mom yelled._**

**_"You're a fucked up cow!" He replied._**

**_That's how it went every night now, my parents would argue and then my dad would leave. With no one else around my mom would come and yell at me._**

**_"Esto es todo por tu culpa!" She screamed._**

**_My mom always blamed me; she'd hit me and throw me around. Then when I'm bruised and bleeding she'll pull me close to her and whisper in my ear, 'He made me do this.' _**

**_And that's exactly what happened except it's all a lie. It's not dad, it's her. She made herself do it._**

**_*End flashback*_**

Because of you,  
I'll never stray too far from the sidewalk,  
Because of you,  
I learned to play on the safe side,  
So I don't get hurt,  
Because of you,  
I tried my hardest just to forget everything,  
Because of you,  
I don't know how to let anyone else in,  
Because of you,  
I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty,  
Because of you,  
I am afraid.

My dad never used to lay a finger on me, it was always my mother. He'd be the one that saved me and made sure I was okay, he'd be the one that had ago at my mom for touching me and hit her just like she had me. He'd scream 'She's just a little girl!' I was eleven at the time and so innocent. I loved my mom even after everything she did but now I'm done with her and I'm done with my dad as well. Ever since Max was born and I turned twelve he just changed, he'd hit me just like mom and he started to view me more as a sex object rather than a daughter.


	4. Never Grow Up

**Chapter Four – Never Grow Up**

The drifting smell of pancakes woke me from my slumber I looked round my surroundings and realised that I wasn't in my room. The events of yesterday came flooding back and I grabbed my phone to check if I had anymore texts off my mom.

**M: Get back here right fucking now!**

**M: Max won't listen to a word I say the brat wants you.**

**M: I love how much you care about him.**

**M: You're such a bitch.**

It's not a surprise at all that I'm the one Max wants, I know that I left him alone but usually I'm the one who cares for him not my mom. She probably just stuffed him in his room as soon as they got home. My stomach started to rumble and I couldn't wait for food much longer, I got up out of the bed and went to find the kitchen. It wasn't hard at all I just had to follow the smell.

"Morning." I grumbled as I sat down at the table.

"Morning, you might want to cover that." She chuckled pointing at my neck.

I looked down and the bright purple mark was so obvious. It filled practically the whole side of my neck.

"Shit." I cursed.

"You can just use makeup."

"I forgot to bring it."

"You can use mine." She smiled.

"Thank god."

She placed a plate of piled goodness covered in golden syrup directly in front of me and I swear my mouth began to water.

"This smells so good!" I praised.

"It tastes even better." She bragged.

Her plate was put opposite mine and she took her seat. We both began to tuck into our scrumptious food and oh my god was she right.

"So do you want to talk?" Mitchie asked.

"No I was upset yesterday and needed to let my emotions out but I'm not in the mood to be sharing right now thanks."

_MITCHIE'S POV_

"Touchy." I teased.

Normally I'd have been hurt by what she just said by right now I just found it amusing. I could tell by last night that she did like me and that she did care but I just had to catch her in the right mood. She puts up a guard and I just have to help her knock it down.

"I'm just not in the mood."

"That's fine." I said.

We carried on eating in silence and it wasn't broken until Alex stood up from the table, she put her plate in the sink and turned to me.

"Can I go get your makeup please?" She asked.

"Yeah sure, it's in my room right on the dresser."

"Okay thank you."

_ALEX'S POV_

I found my way to her room and went straight to the dresser. She had the most expensive makeup products and they covered my neck with ease. I decided to have a look round her room after because I'm a nosy person like that. She had pictures everywhere of what I'm guessing are family members. Her bed looked really comfy so I decided to try it out, her room was huge so there's a big gap between the door and the bed. I ran the whole length and literally dived onto the covers. It was a waterbed so the whole thing rippled beneath me, man was it fun! Just as I was about to get up my hand collided with something hard I reached under the pillow to grab it and it was a fucking vibrator. My teacher fucks herself with a vibrator!

"What are you doing?" Mitchie demanded.

Her voice literally shat me up and caused me to fall of the bed vibrator in hand.

"It's not what I look like." I tried.

"Really, well care to explain?" She smirked. Well if she's smirking that means she's not mad.

"I was jumping on your bed because it looks comfy and I just happened to find this." I emphasised _this _by holding the vibrator up and handing it to Mitchie.

"Well that's sort of awkward." She laughed.

"Yeah I'm sorry." I apologised.

"It's fine masturbating is a natural thing I don't care that you know."

"Yeah well I'm going to leave right now because I'm extremely embarrassed."

I got up off the floor and walked straight past Mitchie. I just had to go and find that didn't I?! Now I couldn't erase the beautiful images of my maths teacher completely sweaty and spent covered in her own juices with her vibrator stuck in her entrance. Yep, I'm going to have dreams about that, why does she have to be so damn hot! There's no way that I'm catching a ride to school with her now.

**A: I'm sorry about yesterday babe I was just stressed. Please can you come and get me for school?**

**S: Yeah sure babe.**

**A: But I'm not at home.**

**S: Where are you?**

**A: I'll be by the park just outside of town.**

**S: Why are you there?**

**A: I'll explain it after.**

**A: Okay I'll be there in about ten minutes.**

I emptied my entire bag out on the bed and then grabbed all of the books I'd need today. I quickly got dressed into the first things I pulled out from what I packed and then picked up my bag.

"Steven is taking me to school today and fetching me from the park." I told Mitchie.

"Okay then, come straight back after school today because I need to talk to you. I can give you a ride if you want?"

"Yeah that'd be great, bye."

"Bye."

I legged it to the park and I was completely worn out when I arrived.

"Where the hell did you stay last night?" Steven questioned.

"At a friend's."

"Who's"

"It doesn't matter." I told him.

I never gave him chance to ask any more questions, I just jumped into his car and put my headphones on. I was listening to some songs that I recorded years ago and I had definitely improved. When we arrived I gave Steven a kiss and darted out the car.

_TUTOR_

"What was up yesterday? You had a right go at Miss Opal." Taylor scolded.

"I just wasn't in the mood if I'm honest."

"Oh okay well how are you feeling today?"

"I'm good. How are you?"

"I'm actually quite good today." She beamed.

"What's got you so happy?"

"I don't know I just had a good night."

"Well I'm glad Tay, you deserve a nice night."

I turned my attention back to the beauty at the front of the classroom, damn Miss Torres is hot.

_DRAMA_

Miss Riles had written all of the lesson objectives up on the board and was stood beside it. Today we had to go off in pairs and act out a break up. I chose to go with Taylor because she was who I'm most comfortable with and who I work best with.

"So what do you want to do?"

"Well I'll be the girl obviously so Lex you have to be the man."

"Okay then well we could do a domestic violence one where I attack you and then you just break up with me and I kill you?"

"Morbid much?" Taylor laughed.

"It's a good idea though no matter how morbid it is."

"It is to be fair." She agreed.

We grabbed a planning sheet of the desk and began to write a step-to-step description of what we'd act out. I had a lot of experience in that department so it should be easy enough to get a good storyline.

"Okay so the woman should be small and venerable and generally petrified of the man. He beats her and makes her life hell so one day she brings up the courage to end it but he kills her."

"Okay so how does he kill her though?" Taylor wondered.

"I'm not sure; he could beat her to death?"

"Yeah that would be good. We can only have a performance for five minutes tops though so how are we gonna do that?"

"Well we can film it instead of doing it live. That means we can film the scenes were she's beaten up in different clothes and different rooms which could signal different days." I told her.

"You're so good at coming up with these things Lex. Okay so after each scene you could show her like cowering in her room but on the last beat up soon you can just show her like completely mad."

"Yeah and then we'd have music playing throughout it all and you can just see their mouths moving and see that they're yelling but not hear it." I finished.

"Then at the end you can just watch her fall to the floor and die then the guy can walk away."

"That's perfect Tay."

We got all of our ideas written down on the sheet and by the time the lesson ended our sheet was completely packed.

"Okay then class I want this project completed by next lesson." Miss Riles warned the class.

_MATHS_

I took a seat at the front of the room today because I wanted to get a good look at Miss Torres. I'm sort of admitting to myself that I'm into her now. Denying it would just be stupid. The only annoying thing is that I think this means I'm a lesbian and that scares me a lot!

"Okay then class today we are having a look at algebra. To start us off I have put several questions up on the board and I want you guys to answer them." Her voice is so angelic, it sounds like perfection. She looks like perfection as well. I guess that's why I push her away and give her the cold shoulder, it's because I'm scared. There's no way she likes me like that either so it's just embarrassing. My mind was racing so much that I hadn't noticed the empty seat being filled.

"You stuck?" She asked me.

"No miss I was just a little bit out of it." I explained.

"Still embarrassed about earlier?" She winked.

"No that wasn't on my mind until now!" I stressed. Suddenly the images of Mitchie on her bed came flooding back into my mind and I was becoming horny fast!

"Maybe you should just stay away from my room now?" She whispered.

"Yes maybe I should just leave yours completely and just go home."

"Why?" She seemed quick to respond; does that mean she doesn't want me to go?

"It's Wednesday and so much has happened in these past two days! Everything's different; I'm not with max, my parents are worse than ever, Hannah hates me, I'm dating Steven and living with you. I don't even know you. Like at all. I'm having stupid feelings which I can't explain and I just want it to stop. Why can't it go back to the way it was? Last year was perfect, I want that back." My perfect teacher rubbed my arm subtly and soothingly.

"Everything happens for a reason; you'll go back home when you're ready, you don't have to date Steven if you're not comfortable with it and yeah you've known me for only two days but you trust me and you're right too. You know that you could have a relationship with me and I'd always be there for you. You know that I am here whenever you need me and that scares you because you're not used to the affection and caring." She told me and you know what? She's right. What did she mean by relationship though? Surely she just meant friendship.

"I guess you're right. I'm going to get on with these questions."

They were only supposed to take half of the lesson but, after stopping to talk to Mitch and taking my speed into consideration, it took me the double the time. When the bell sounded out I only too gladly packed all my stuff away and got ready to leave.

"Alex?" Mitchie called. I stopped just short of the door and turned around.

"I'll meet you in the abandoned car park after school. I'll take you right to my house and talk to you about the rules I mentioned."

"That's cool I'll see ya." I smiled.

When she returned the smile it made my day. Her whole face lit up and it sent shivers down my spine.

_BREAK_

I noticed Steven siting outside on the grass so I crept up and literally jumped on him. He yelled in shock but soon shut up when he saw that it was me.

"Hey babe." He greeted.

I straddled his lap and pecked his rough lips; Mitchie's lips looked so much softer.

"Hi." I smiled. This dating thing wasn't so bad. I've been friends with Ste since year seven; that's like five years. I know he's a decent dude so that's the only reason I'm putting up with this. I haven't been in a relationship since year nine.

"So where were you yesterday?" Why does he have to continue to push me?

"I said that I was at a friend's." I snapped.

"Are you cheating on me?"

"What the fuck Steven! Why would you even suggest that?" I screamed. It really got to me because I was anything but a cheater. It's fair enough to say I'm using him which is nearly as bad but I would never cheat.

"It's just that you were somewhere strange yesterday and you won't tell me where."

"I had a massive argument with my parents and I can't stay there anymore. I'm getting out of the way for a bit and laying low; I can't tell anyone where though! So just drop it please."

"Promise me you're not cheating." He said.

"If you have to even ask that then we obviously shouldn't be together." I spat.

"Fine I believe you."

"Yeah okay."

I slipped off his lap because I wasn't comfortable being there anymore. I can't really be mad at him though as I'm doing far worse to him.

_CHEMISTRY_

I noticed Hannah sitting alone in the corner and it was enough to give me some happiness. The poor twat has no one to sit by, aww.

"Tay, where's Mr Shaw?" I asked as I sat down beside her.

"He just went to get the books and then he'll be back." She explained.

I absolutely hate chemistry and the other two sciences. I think it's just science that really pisses me off. Mr Shaw is at least a really nice teacher though so that makes it sort of bearable. I figured that nothing I was going to be told in that lesson would be anything I cared about or needed so I just got my songbook out.

_Your little hand's wrapped around my finger,  
And it's so quiet in the world tonight,  
Your little eyelids flutter cause you're dreaming,  
So I tuck you in, turn on your favorite night light,  
To you everything's funny, you got nothing to regret,  
I'd give all I have, honey,  
If you could stay like that._

Oh darling, don't you ever grow up,  
Don't you ever grow up, just stay this little,  
Oh darling, don't you ever grow up,  
Don't you ever grow up, it could stay this simple,  
I won't let nobody hurt you, won't let no one break your heart,  
And no one will desert you,  
Just try to never grow up, never grow up.

**_*Flashback*_**

**_"You're so beautiful sweetie." My mom gushed._**

**_I'm only three right now. Everything is perfect. I live with my mom and my dad. They are a perfect couple and they couldn't have been happier together._**

**_"I'm going to love you forever princess."_**

**_She adores me so much and I'm perfect to her. I never want to grow up._**

**_*End flashback*_**

_Take pictures in your mind of your childhood room,  
Memorize what it sounded like when your dad gets home,  
Remember the footsteps, remember the words said,  
And all your little brother's favorite songs,  
I just realized everything I have is someday gonna be gone._

So here I am in my new school,  
In a big city, they just dropped me off,  
It's so much colder that I thought it would be,  
So I tuck myself in and turn my night light on.

Wish I'd never grown up,  
I wish I'd never grown up.

Oh I don't wanna grow up, wish I'd never grown up,  
I could still be little,  
Oh I don't wanna grow up, wish I'd never grown up,  
It could still be simple,  
Oh darling, don't you ever grow up,  
Don't you ever grow up, just stay this little,  
Oh darling, don't you ever grow up,  
Don't you ever grow up, it could stay this simple,  
Won't let nobody hurt you,  
Won't let no one break your heart,  
And even though you want to, please try to never grow up,  
Oh, don't you ever grow up,  
Oh, never grow up, just never grow up.

My mom lied that night. Thirteen years ago she told me that she'd always be there for me and that she'd always love me but that was a lie. She didn't keep to her word and she's pushed me away.

_LUNCH_

I got another text off her today.

**M: Where are you for Gods sake?!**

I dunno why she's bothering still because I'm done with her and I'm not replying. I was about to go and find Taylor when my phone started to ring. It was my mom, I'm sick of her texts and bitching so I answered it.

**M: Lex where the fuck are you?**

**A: What do you want?**

**M: I've been worried sick! I was a bitch last night and this morning because I was mad and shocked at what happened but when I hadn't heard from you and you hadn't come home I got panicked.**

**A: No you haven't! You don't give a fuck about me and you never did.**

**M: I love you, you're my daughter. I was going through a lot back when you were younger and I flipped out on you because of that. I don't want you to be afraid of coming home. I miss you and so does Max.**

**A: I can't say that I miss you but I miss him so much! He's my buddy that loves me no matter what and the one that has been there for me through everything! I need him in my life.**

**M: Your dad is going to kill you if he sees you so I think you should stay away.**

**A: You just said you didn't want me to.**

**M: I don't but you're not safe around him.**

**A: I won't come home then.**

**M: Are you at least safe?**

**A: Yes I'm fine.**

**M: Alright bye.**

**A: Bye.**

I hung up the phone and I felt tears pricking the corner of my eyes. I hated being vulnerable in front of anyone so I couldn't let other students see me cry. The only person who's seen me at my worst recently is Mitch. I guess that's where I'll go.

I knocked on the door and waited until she called me in.

"Alex what's up?"

I closed the door behind me and locked it. No one else gets to see me cry.

"I don't know what to do." I sobbed.

"Come here sweetie." All the windows in the room were covered by the blinds and the door had no gap in it so we were safe. I climbed up onto her lap and snuggled into her chest.

"What happened?" She asked as her hand began to rub circles on my back.

"My mom called and she acted like she really did love me. I can't go home though because of my dad and I really miss Max."

"It's good that your mom cares right?"

"Yeah but I was so convinced that she hated me but now I'm so confused."

"Don't worry about it. At least you can be with me right now and you will be fine I promise you."

She gently kissed the top of my head and that's all it took to soothe me right down.

**Reviews?:')**


	5. Torn

**Chapter Five – Torn**

English and Physics passed pretty quickly and soon the day was over. Mr Friles was just as much of a prick as he usually was towards me but Mrs Pierce was alright I guess. I went straight to the old parking lot as soon as the bell rang out; I just wanted to get back to Mitchie's so I could finally relax. When I got there I saw that she'd already arrived; she was sat in her ford fiesta waiting for me.

"Hey sorry I was late."

"You weren't I just came out earlier, you feeling better now Lex?"

"Yes you really calmed me down." I mumbled.

"Sorry what was that?" She joked.

I sent her a glare and she began to chuckle, her laugh was infectious so I was soon joining her. I can only open up when I feel low hence the fact I've only ever properly spoken to her after I left home and after I spoke to my mom.

The drive back to Mitchie's didn't take long at all. As we pulled up onto her drive I was confused to see a car already there.

"Shit. My parents are here."

"What are you going to say?"

"I don't know."

Mitchie was really panicking and so was I. What were we going to say to them, how are we going to explain me being there? We walked through the door and as soon as we did we heard the shouts from the room beside us.

"Mitchie your home!" What I guess is her mom said.

"Yeah one second mom!" Yes it was her mom.

"Go into the kitchen and I'll call you when it's safe to come out." She whispered to me.

I complied and went to hide.

_MITCHIE'S POV_

It wasn't just my parents who'd decided to drop by; they'd brought my sister Madison along as well. Madison is a lesbian just like me, check the luck in that. My parents didn't care though because I have an older sister Dallas who is as straight as a pencil and can give them grandchildren; even though the two of us can as well.

"What are you guys doing here?" I asked as I took a seat beside Maddy.

"We came to see you Mitch." My sister told me.

Madison is sixteen; the same age as Alex.

"Okay well there's someone else here." I admitted.

"Who? A girlfriend?!" My mom questioned excitedly. Ha no I wish Alex was my girlfriend.

"No she's my student and she's staying with me for a while."

"How old?" Madison was immediately interested.

"Same age as you but don't try anything with her." I warned eying the younger girl.

_ALEX'S POV_

I was getting quite bored of the whole waiting in the kitchen; luckily it wasn't long before my name was being called. I silently and nervously made my way to the other room. I was shocked to see another young girl in there as well because I wasn't expecting it. She was pretty with long brown hair but of course she was nothing compared to Mitchie.

"Hi everyone."

"Hi." The girl winked.

"What did I just tell you?" Mitch snapped.

"I'm sorry." She laughed.

"Lex this is my younger sister Madison, my mom and my dad." Mitchie told me.

I looked around at the people sat in front of me, "Hey."

"Hey." They all replied; Madison's being quite a flirtatious 'hey'.

"Alex come and sit down here beside me." Mitchie smiled.

I was looking forward to just spending the night with my hot maths teacher but now I have to spend it with these guys too. I sat down next to her and brushed my fingers against her thigh, by mistake, as I did so. The sharp intake of breathe that followed gave me the best feeling ever.

"Sorry." I whispered.

"I'm not complaining." She winked.

No way in hell was my twenty-four year old teacher flirting with me! Have I gone to heaven?

"So why are you here then?" Her dad asked.

"Some things happened at my house and I needed a place to stay."

"Our Mitch always was the helping kind."

"Yeah." I agreed.

We spent the rest of the night just generally chatting and getting used to each other. They left at around seven and me and Mitchie just stayed on the sofa talking.

"So your sister total wanted me." I laughed.

"Oh my god I know." She moaned.

"She's not really my type anyways."

"What's your type?"

"Brown hair, beautiful, smart, sexy and kind." So basically you.

"Got anyone that fits the bill yet?"

"Steven."

"Is that all?" I could see the hurt in her eyes.

"No." I admitted.

"Who else?" She asked hopefully.

"It wouldn't be appropriate to say."

"You can tell me."

"She's a maths teacher." I muttered.

"It's me." She realised.

"Sort of but I know nothing can happen so it's fine."

"Never say never." She smiled.

Is that her way of saying that nothing can happen? I'm so confused right now it's unreal. I think I have to break up with Steven and get what I truly want.

_A WEEK LATER_

It's been a week since I had that conversation. I haven't broken up with Ste yet and I haven't made any moves on Mitch. We've been constantly flirting and joking around but there's been no moves made. I think that I should soon, I've known her for ten days now and my feelings are just as strong. I'm sat at Steven's house in his room and we're home alone.

"Babe you're so beautiful." He complimented.

"I have to say something to you." I said.

He completely ignored me and started to nip at my neck. It was clear what he wanted but it wasn't at all what I had planned.

"Seriously Steven I have to talk to you."

He still didn't listen; he made a grab for my top and started to pull it up. I didn't want to do anything so I pushed him away.

"I think we should end this." I told him.

"What the fuck do you mean?!" He was getting angry fast and that wasn't good.

"It's just not working out."

"We've been dating nine days! How can it not be working out?" He boomed.

"Please Steven!"

"You're such a whore. You give all these guys that you don't give a fuck about sex and then when someone comes along who actually likes you, you turn them down."

"I'm sorry." I cried. Steven had always been the one who cared, not the one who hurled abuse.

"No, you're giving me what I want now!"

I grabbed a hold of me and forced me down so that I was lying on the bed.

"No!" I screamed.

But he didn't listen to a single word I said. He raped me then and there. He got what he wanted and then chucked me out of the house. I'm sitting in the dark all alone on a Wednesday night and I'm scared. I've always put out but ever since I met Mitchie I've felt more worthy and I've realised that I don't have to be that person. I'm just so scared.

**A: Mom I need you now!**

**M: I'm busy**

**A: I seriously need you! Something happened.**

**M: I said I was fucking busy.**

I knew her 'caring' wouldn't last.

**A: Mitch can you come and get me?**

**M: I thought you were staying at Steven's tonight?**

**A: Something happened and I need you right now!**

**M: I'm on my way.**

Mitchie was the one who dropped me off so I know for sure that she knows where she's going. She got here in five minutes flat when it should have taken ten. I couldn't care less though I just ran into her car.

"Take me back to yours." I pleaded.

I didn't need to ask once more she put the car into drive once more and sped off into the distance. I was a wreck when we got back and couldn't even stand. Mitchie picked me up bridal style and carefully walked me into the house. She sat us both down on the sofa and pulled me into her arms.

"What happened baby?"

I don't want to tell her! I was going to start over, you know be a born again virgin and all that shit. She was going to take my new virginity; I was going to start a fresh with her. I was saving myself for her and no one else. It may have been only nine days but that's the longest I've ever gone without sex and he has screwed it all up now!

"I broke up with Steven."

"Aww sweetie."

I felt so safe with her like nothing could happen again. He couldn't hurt me as long as I was with Mitch. I reached up and placed my lips on Mitchie's and I was right they are soft. It was sweet and slow until she pushed me away.

"We can't do this. It's not right and I refuse to be your rebound girl." She whispered.

Then and there my world shattered. I was going to break up with him to be with her! She isn't a rebound! I may be falling for her.

"You're not a rebound! I really like you Mitch."

"I'm your teacher and you're a student, nothing can happen."

"But you said never say never." I cried.

"I know and that was stupid of me, nothing can ever happen between us. I'm sorry."

I untangled myself from her arms and ran upstairs to my room. I've blown everything and I feel so dirty. Everything they said about me is true and now even Mitch doesn't want me.

_I thought, I saw a man brought to life,  
He was warm, he came around and he was dignified,  
He showed me what it was to cry,  
Well, you couldn't be that man I adored,  
You don't seem to know,  
Seem to care what your heart is for,  
But I don't know him anymore,  
There's nothing where he used to lie,  
The conversation has run dry,  
That's what's going on,  
Nothing's fine, I'm torn._

**_*Flashback*_**

**_Max has been screaming for over an hour. He's only just been born though so I can understand why, he's only one month old and he's such a cutie. I was busy writing when my dad burst into my room._**

**_"That kid won't shut up! I wish it was never born, your mom won't give me any." He yelled._**

**_I was twelve, not a baby, so I knew what he was talking about. Mom won't give him any sex. _**

**_"I'm sorry daddy."_**

**_"You should be! If she won't put out then you're going to have to!"_**

**_That scared me beyond relief. What's he going to make me do?_**

**_"Get over here now!"_**

**_His voice was loud and demanding, it really scared me. I didn't know what he'd do to me if I didn't listen so I did what he asked. The second I was within arm's reach he began to tear all my clothes off._**

**_"Dad! Stop it!" I screamed._**

**_The last thing I remember is his fist colliding with my face and then it was all black. When I woke up I was naked and on the floor. He hadn't penetrated me though because if he had there would have been blood and I would have been sore but there was cum all over me. I've heard kids at school talking about sex related things so I know the basics. I don't know what he did to me and I don't want to know._**

**_*End flashback*_**

_I'm all out of faith,  
This is how I feel,  
I'm cold and I am shamed,  
Lying naked on the floor,  
Illusion never changed,  
Into something real,  
I'm wide awake and I can see,  
The perfect sky is torn,  
You're a little late, I'm already torn._

So I guess the fortune teller's right,  
Should have seen just what was there,  
And not some holy light,  
It crawled beneath my veins,  
And now I don't care, I had no luck,  
I don't miss it all that much,  
There's just so many things,  
That I can touch, I'm torn.

I'm all out of faith,  
This is how I feel,  
I'm cold and I am shamed,  
Lying naked on the floor,  
Illusion never changed,  
Into something real,  
I'm wide awake and I can see,  
The perfect sky is torn,  
You're a little late, I'm already torn, torn.

There's nothing where he used to lie,  
My inspiration has run dry,  
That's what's going on,  
Nothing's right, I'm torn,  
I'm all out of faith,  
This is how I feel,  
I'm cold and I am shamed,  
Lying naked on this floor,  
Illusion never changed,  
Into something real,  
I'm wide awake and I can see,  
The perfect sky is torn.

I'm all out of faith,  
This is how I feel,  
I'm cold and I'm ashamed,  
Bound and broken on the floor,  
You're a little late, I'm already torn, torn.

He hadn't ever done anything that extreme since that one night. He'd only ever groped me but god knows what happened and what he did when I was only twelve years old. That's why I'm so scared! Because I don't ever know what he's capable of doing to me?

**Reviews?:')**


	6. For The Love Of A Daughter

**I want to thank 'PassionIsKey' because they are the only person who has told me that they prefer this one. I agree and I'm so glad that it's not just me. Thanks to all the other reviews as well though because they really encourage me to carry on. I'm going to be updating the other 'A lot can happen in a year' later on today. :')**

* * *

**Chapter Six – For The Love Of A Daughter**

I'm not going to school today, no way! What if Steven's there and he hurts me again. I thought he was the good guy, the one that would always protect me, but boy was I proved wrong.

"Alex get up." Mitchie shouted as she walked into the room I'd been staying in.

"No I'm not going." I grunted.

I felt a sudden weight difference on the mattress and soon a hand was caressing my hair.

"Break-ups are hard and I get that you're upset but you can't skip school."

"You don't care about me! You made that clear last night so how about you just fuck off because I don't even want to be near you today!" I screamed. I'd hurt her real bad this time but to be fair she hurt me so much yesterday. I never wanted her to reject me.

"Fine if that's how you feel." She spat.

I was left alone to relish in my own misery; flashback after flashback of last night. If only I'd have accepted my feelings when I first met Mitch, instead of going out with Steven, none of this would have happened!

**M: I think you dad is leaving!**

**A: What?**

**M: He's going for good.**

**A: Okay.**

**M: I might go with him.**

**A: What about Max.**

**M: I'm done with that kid.**

"MITCHIE!" I boomed.

"What?" She asked coldy as she entered my room for the second time that day.

"I need you to take me to my house."

"Why would I do that?" She laughed.

"Max is in danger and I need to be there now."

"Okay come on."

It took us just five minutes to get to my house and I was out the second the car stopped, not even giving Mitchie a goodbye.

"What's happening?" I asked as I burst in the door.

"You have a lot of cheek coming back here." My dad glared as he began to size me up.

"What did I do to you dad? Why do you hate me so fucking much?" I cried.

"Don't make this about you." He warned.

"But it is though! We used to be so close and I loved my daddy so much but suddenly you just turned. I'm your daughter not your damn girlfriend; you shouldn't have ever done what you did to me and it's unforgivable. Why did you do that to me? Did I really deserve that?" I chocked.

"I'm going."

"I'm sixteen and I should be a virgin really but I'm not. I've had sex with countess guys because I needed the love you failed to give me and show me. I had to fuck Drew because he was threatening to come to the house when Max was around. My life is screwed up completely and it's all because of you."

"Don't you dare blame me for your whoreness!"

"Don't you fucking dare call me names. You have no right at all; you know yesterday I was raped and now I know that's all I am to guys. You, Drew, Steven and all the others only wanted one thing from me. I just wanted you to be there for me! I wanted an actual dad who cared and protected me. So this is your fault." I wept.

He slapped me right across the face and pushed me over on his way to the door. I finally broke down into a heap on the floor.

"Alex." My mom whispered.

"Just fuck off! Go with dad and leave me like you always do!"

"Did you really get raped?"

"Do you really think that badly of me?! Do you think I'd lie about something as serious as that?" I was shocked.

"I have to go."

She left me and so did my father. Now I'm just left here alone with Max, where is he anyway? I'm not in the mood to even look right now.

…

I've done nothing all day. I'm an absolute wreck and I really don't know what to do anymore. Max found me about an hour after those two left and to say he was excited to see me would be an underestimation. The second he saw that I was upset though he joined me on the floor and cuddled me. The doorbell rang but I didn't even acknowledge it, I felt Max get up and head in that direction.

_MITCHIE'S POV_

I needed to know if Alex was okay, I didn't want to turn her down at all, I care about her so much. She's absolutely beautiful and I could really fall for her but what if we got caught? Everything would be ruined. I knocked the door to her house and waited for it to be opened. It was a very stupid thing to do considering her parents could be home but then again I could just say I was dropping off homework. They didn't open the door though and neither did Lex, it was a little boy who I'm guessing is Max.

"Who are you?" He asked and man was he adorable.

"I'm Alex's friend is she here?"

"She's really upset." His look suddenly saddened at the mention of his sister.

"Can I come in and see her?"

"Yeah." He walked back into the house and I followed him, shutting the door behind me.

She was lying on the floor right in the middle of her sitting room, there were tears streaming down her face and she was shaking.

"How long has she been like this?" I asked Max.

"Since mommy and daddy went."

"Where did they go?"

"I dunno but daddy slapped mom and then just left with mommy." He explained.

That fucker did not lay a hand on Alex! I swear to god if I ever see him I'm going to knock him for six.

"Go on upstairs sweetie while I talk to her." I said.

The little boy ran away and I approached Lex on the floor. I gently and carefully picked her up and held her in my arms bridal style. I sat us both down on the chair and cradled her in my lap; the crying had subsided just a little.

"What happened?" I whispered.

"I can't talk about it." She muttered.

"Please Lex, you're clearly upset."

"No." She screamed.

"Okay." I soothed.

I was going to have to take her back to mine because I didn't know whether the parents would be back and I wasn't having that prick anywhere near her.

"Max." I shouted.

"Yeah?"

"Come down here."

I laced my hands with Alex's and carefully placed her on the floor. As soon as Max was down I took his hand as well and led them out the door. I double checked to see if anyone was around but it was clear. I didn't have a booster seat for him so I just buckled him in safely and then got Alex into the passenger side.

"Where are we going?" Max questioned as I pulled out the drive.

"We're going somewhere safe." I assured.

"Am I going to be staying with you and Alex?"

"Of course."

The drive was quiet and uncomfortable; it felt like an eternity just to drive to my house. I had to help Alex out just like before and Max, then I was leading them both into my house.

_ALEX'S POV_

Mitchie came and rescued me once again. I really like her and she would be the perfect girlfriend but she's just too afraid to give it a try. She brought Max back as well this time so now we get to be together again! I still can't function properly though; my dad doesn't give a shit about me and when my mom found out that my dad has been sexually abusing me for years she wasn't fazed. The rape seemed to shock her but she still left me. I hope Max didn't hear any of the argument; he's far too young to be dealing with shit like that.

"What about Max?" I choked. My tears still hadn't stopped.

"He can stay here too sweetie."

"Okay." I beamed. That did cheer me up cause it meant we didn't have to be separated anymore. It could go straight back to how we used to be except this time it would be better as my mom and dad wouldn't be around to ruin it.

"You should go upstairs and get some rest." Mitch told me.

"Can you take me up please?" I pleaded.

"Of course."

_MITCHIE'S POV_

I took Max's hand in my own and rested my other hand on the small of Lexi's back. I decided to get Max sorted first so I took him into the other guest room and got him settled in his bed.

"We'll go back to your house tomorrow and get you some pyjamas alright?"

"Okay, what's your name?" he asked.

"It's Mitchie."

"Night Mitchie." He smiled.

I kissed him lightly on the top of his head and then Alex followed suit.

"I love you Maxy." She whispered.

"I love you too Lex."

Next, I had to get Alex sorted. I'm finding it harder and harder to resist the beauty that is her, when I found her crying all I wanted to do was take her in my arms and kiss her senseless. I hate to see her upset, I just want to put a smile on her face and heal her.

"Are you feeling any better?" I checked.

"Yes, now that you're here to protect me."

I got her sorted under the covers and kissed her cheek lightly.

"Sweet dreams." I said.

_ALEX'S POV_

Oh my god! Mitchie Torres is going to be the death of me! I don't understand her logic at all though, I really like her and she acts as if she likes me so why can't we just give us a go? I reached down to my bag beneath the bed and yanked out my song book. I don't want to think about my failed love life anymore I'd rather just write a song.

_Twelve years old with my back to the door,  
All I could hear was the family war,  
Your selfish hands always expecting more ,  
Am I your child or just a charity ward,  
You have a hollowed out heart,  
But it's heavy in your chest,  
I try so hard to find it,  
But it's hopeless,  
Hopeless,  
You're hopeless,  
Oh father,  
Please father,  
I'd love to leave you alone,  
But I can't let you go,  
Oh father,  
Please father,  
Put the bottle down,  
For the love of a daughter,  
Oh._

**_*Flashback*_**

**_Dad's been drinking again. He's having one of us daily arguments with mom and I know that soon he's going to come in here and take it out on me. I'm scared if I'm honest; it gets worse and worse and worse each time._**

**_"You're just like your mom!" He roared as he came bounding into my room._**

**_He grabbed a hold of my hair and pulled my up so that I was standing._**

**_"I'm sorry daddy." I squealed._**

**_"DON'T CALL ME THAT." He spat._**

**_He didn't leave until I was bruised, beaten and unconscious lying on the floor where I was before._**

**_*End flashback*_**

_It's been four years,  
Since you loved me last,  
And I want back,  
What we once had,  
Oh, I can be manipulated,  
Only so many times,  
Before even I love you,  
Starts to sound like a lie,  
You have a hollowed out heart,  
But it's heavy in your chest,  
I try so hard to find it,  
But it's hopeless,  
Hopeless,  
You're hopeless,  
Oh father,  
Please father,  
I'd love to leave you alone,  
But I can't let you go,  
Oh father,  
Please father,  
Put the bottle down,  
For the love of a daughter._

_Don't you remember,  
I'm your baby girl,  
How could you push me out of your world,  
Lie to your flesh and your blood,  
Put your hands on the ones that you swore you loved,  
Don't you remember,  
I'm your baby girl,  
How could you throw me right out of your world,  
So young when the pain had begun,  
Now forever afraid of being loved._

_Oh father,  
Please father,  
I'd love to leave you alone,  
But I can't let you go,  
Oh father,  
Please father,  
Put the bottle down,  
For the love of a daughter,_  
_For the love of a daughter._

I gave up trying to get them back to the way they used to be. Right now I'm just happy that I've gotten rid of them, that's all I've wanted for about two years.

**Review please xox**


	7. Hey Little Brother

**Chapter Seven – Hey Little Brother**

It's Friday and school dragged by so agonisingly slow. I tried to dodge Mitchie, I'm not really in the mood to have my obvious rejection waved in my face today, but it was hard.

"Hey Lex." Max greeted as he came running into my room.

I picked him up and chucked him on the bed, the second he landed I was on top of him; tickling him. I'd really missed this! Me and Max had always been close because we were all we had in the world; with the parents we were given, I needed him and he needed me.

"Hey Max, I really do love you, you know that?" I asked.

"Yeah and I love you too."

"I'm so sorry for leaving you with them."

"It's okay I saw how they treated you." I was very wise for a four year old.

"I wrote a song for you."

"You did?!" His eyes lit up and it made my day to see him so happy. He'd always known I write and sing and had been begging me for ages to write him one.

"Yeah it's all about how much I love you."

"Can I hear it?"

"Course."

I got up off of the bed and collected my guitar and song book. Once I was comfortable beside Max, I began to strum.

_When we were growing up,  
I said a lot of things that I didn't mean,  
I tried to make you tough,  
But instead I left you crying and lonely,  
With the heart that's beating,  
Inside of you,  
It's too good to be true,  
You're more beautiful than anything I've seen._

**_*Flashback*_**

**_"I hate you so much Max!" I screamed._**

**_Mom and dad have gone out so I'm left looking after little Maxy. I wish he was never born though because he ruined everything._**

**_"Ever since you were born I've been tossed aside. I wish you were dead." I spat._**

**_"Lex."_**

**_"See you're so dumb that that's all you can say. You're nearly two and you can only say Lex. You twat."_**

**_*End flashback*_**__

Hey little brother,  
I was cruel and mean to you,  
But hey little brother,  
I need to say I love you,  
I just want you to know that,  
Want you to know that,  
Want you to know that,  
I just want you to know that,  
Want you to know that,  
Want you to know that.

When we were little,  
I did a lot of things,  
That I regret now,  
I was your hero,  
I always found a way to hurt you somehow,  
But the man you've grown up,  
And you have become,  
Since you were young,  
(I'm blown away)  
You're more beautiful,  
Than anything I've seen.

Hey little brother,  
I was cruel and mean to you,  
But hey little brother,  
I need to say I love you,  
I just want you to know that,  
Want you to know that,  
Want you to know that,  
I just want you to know that,  
Want you to know that,  
Want you to know that,  
Yeah.

_And the tables have turned now,  
I'm wishing I could be like you,  
Hey little brother,  
I just want you to know,  
I'm so proud,  
I'm so proud of you._

So hey little brother,  
I was cruel and mean to you,  
But hey little brother,  
I need to say I love you,  
I just want you to know that,  
Want you to know that,  
Want you to know that,  
I just want you to know that,  
Want you to know that,  
Want you to know,  
Kiddo.

"The truth is Max I love you more than anything and I always have and will. Maybe I was very jealous of you for a while but I never blamed you. The fact that my name was your first word really warmed my heart." I smiled.

_MITCHIE'S POV_

I was just heading up to Alex's room to ask what she wanted for tea when I heard voices. It sounded important so I didn't want to break it up; I just stood by the door. Lex was talking about some song and Max was getting pretty excited; before I knew it she had her guitar out and was singing. And oh my lord her voice! It has such an angelic sound to it and makes me fall for her all over again.

As soon as she was done I decided to walk in because it was getting late and they needed to eat. When I entered the room they two siblings were embracing. I'm so glad that they can be together again.

"What do you want for tea guys?"

"Can I have chicken nuggets?" Max asked.

"And I'll just have the same." Alex smiled.

"Okay I'll go do them now and then I'll call you when it's done."

_ALEX'S POV_

Mitch had been downstairs cooking for a while so I decided to go and check if she wanted my help. As I neared the stairs I noticed that she wasn't alone, she was talking to someone. I peered round the corner and she was sat on the sofa chatting away on her phone.

"I love you too Dan… Yeah sunday's gonna be so much fun… I can't wait to see you… Got loads of problems around me right now… Wanna get rid for a bit and forget it all."

That's all I heard and that's all I needed to hear. Mitchie obviously really likes this 'Dan' so why the fuck did she lead me on?! Why did she make it out like there was a chance for us?! And I'm so sorry that we are such an inconvenience to her; me and Max are just one big problem, right?

_MITCHIE'S POV_

"Dan I really like her and I shouldn't!"

"Just do what you need to babe, I love you and trust you. I'm always going to be your best friend my cute Mitchie pie."

"I love you too Dan."

"You still up for Sunday then?"

"Yeah Sunday's gonna be so much fun."

"It really is."

"I can't wait to see you."

"Yeah we can chat about your girl troubles."

"Got loads of problems around me right now."

"We can talk about them all."

"Wanna get rid for a bit and forget it all."

"I can help with that Mitch. I have to go now though. Bye."

"Bye." I hung up the phone and placed it on the dock. It was a bit too late for nuggets now so maybe we should get take away.

"Lex you okay with mcdonads?" I asked as I walked into her room.

"Yeah whatever." She replied coldly. What did I do?

"Are you okay?"

"I'm freaking perfect. You can go now." What the fuck is up?


	8. Quiet

**Chapter Eight – Quiet **

_ALEX'S POV_

It's been two days since I last spoke to Mitchie. She's tried to spark up some conversations but to be quite frank I don't want to hear it. It's Sunday today so that means she has her hot date with Dan, I hope she has a fucking great time.

"I'm just heading out now." Mitchie informed me as she came traipsing into the room.

"Good for you." I snapped.

"Seriously what's your problem Alex? You were fine with me one minute on Friday and now suddenly you're all 'I hate you'"

"Just leave."

The pain in her eyes made me feel bad for a bit but then I remembered what she was doing to me. I remembered how she has been playing me like a game. She never likes me; she has Dan for that.

"I'm taking Max." She whispered; it was evident that tears were threatening to fall.

"Why are you taking him?" I spat.

"Because he wants to go."

"Whatever." It seems a bit strange to take a four year old on your date but if that's what she wants then fine.

It does mean, though, that I have the house to myself. I hate being alone these days; it's horrible and quiet. I want to feel wanted and I want to feel loved. Steven has tried to contact me since the whole rape but I've been blowing him off. It felt disgusting and I can't get the feeling out of my head but I think I'm going to forgive him. He's been one of my best friends for so long and I'll miss that too much. Maybe I should invite him round now? Kill two birds with one stone.

I was about to text him when my phone began to vibrate. I have no clue who it is because no one really texts me these days. Not even Taylor.

**M: Hey sexy;) It's Madison.**

**A: How did you get my number?**

**M: Took it off Mitch's phone. **

**A: Oh okay.**

**M: Wanna meet up?**

**A: Yeah. You can come here?**

**M: Where's Mitchie?**

**A: She's gone out.**

**M: I'm on my way.**

I feel like if I do anything with Madison it's breaking some sort of rule but then again it's clear I mean nothing to Mitchie so why would she care?

…

"What's it like living with my sister then?" She asked. We were both sat on the sofa in the living room.

"It's fine." I spoke.

"I sense hostility, what's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"You like her don't you?" She said.

"Yes." I'm sick of lying and avoiding the truth. I don't give a shit who knows.

"You've not got a chance. Mitchie is way too smart to date her student. Besides she's eight years older than you and you're the same age as her sister, moi."

"I guess."

"But I'm available." She winked. I don't know what came over me but she handed me an opportunity and I felt like it was the closest I'd ever get to Mitch.

I placed my lips against Madison's in a heated frenzy. This wasn't about love or longing, I don't know her and don't fancy her. This doesn't mean anything. I reached for her top and had it off with one swift motion; she returned the favour by taking mine off. She didn't waste any time in having my bra off as well. Someone's keen, though it didn't bother me much. She was seconds away from taking my left nipple into her mouth when we were interrupted by Max's innocent gasp.

"What are you doing Lex?" He yelled.

"Max what's all the commotion?" Mitchie questioned as she walked in behind Max. Her face, when she saw the current position I was in with her sister, was heart-breaking.

"I can explain." I tried.

"Madison get the fuck out of here now." Mitch spat. I'd never seen a girl move so fast; she grabbed her top and was out the door quicker than I could blink.

"And you! Put your clothes on now!" She yelled. I finally realised that I was sat there topless in front of her and in frenzy I got dressed. To say I was ashamed and embarrassed would be an understatement.

"Max sweetie go to your room." Mitchie told him politely.

…

I've been sitting here opposite my teacher for about two hours now and literally neither of us had spoken a word. It was starting to get awkward.

"I'm so sorry." I apologised.

"Why? Why her?"

"I was lonely."

"That's so out of order!"

"Why? How the fuck is that out of order! What have I really done wrong?" I shouted.

"I like you okay! I, Mitchie Torres, have a huge crush on you, Alex Russo. That's why. And she's my fucking sister, why would you do that to me? You blatantly don't care about me."

"I like you so much; why do you think I broke up with Steven?! It was for you but you turned me down. I figured Madison is the closest I'm ever going to get to being with you." I cried.

"That's not true, you're lying."

"No I'm not. I thought you liked this Dan and that today was a date. I was in pieces and that's why I was so pissed off at you. I heard you on the phone on Friday!"

"Dan is my best friend you twat!"

"I'm sorry okay!"

"You don't give a shit about me. That's been made obvious today."

"I wrote you a song Friday night whilst I was hurt and afraid. If I didn't like you then why would I do that?"

"Let me hear it then."

"Fine." I wiped the tears from my face and ran to get my guitar and song book. The second I was settled back on the couch I looked directly into her eyes and began to sing.

_I hear what you're not saying,  
It's driving me crazy,  
It's like we stopped breathing in this room,  
We're both the last to be leaving,  
I know what you're thinking,  
I wish you'd make your move._

It's much too quiet in here,  
I wanna disappear,  
I'm hearing myself thinking too clear,  
It's too quiet in here,  
Make it all go away,  
Why can't we break this silence, finally.

It's like you know where I'm going,  
You follow me home,  
But I never invite you inside,  
I see what you're not showing,  
I've got you alone,  
But the air is so thin, it's weird.

_It's much too quiet in here,  
I wanna disappear,  
I'm hearing myself thinking too clear,  
It's too quiet in here,  
Make it all go away,  
Why can't we break this silence, finally._

Don't stop, don't stop,  
Telling me goodnight,  
Just promise you'll kiss me goodbye,  
What's taking so long?,  
Don't tell me you're not gonna try,  
The tension's building in my mind,  
I wanna scream, and I know why.

_It's much too quiet in here,  
I wanna disappear,  
I'm hearing myself thinking too clear,  
It's too quiet in here,  
Make it all go away,  
Why can't we break this silence, finally,  
Make it all go away,  
It's. too. quiet. in here._

I whispered the last few lines as my emotions were getting the better of me. Tears were now painting my face and my heart was aching.

"I'm so sorry." I stood up and kneeled directly in front of Mitchie and took her hands in my own.

The second she pushed my advance away my heart sank but it regained its normalness when she gently wiped the tears away with her free hand and placed her lips lightly on mine. The sparks that coursed through my body where the best feelings ever. I'm almost certain that Mitchie is the one for me.

**Review?;)**


	9. The Way You Look Tonight

**Chapter Nine – The Way You Look Tonight**

_MITCHIE'S POV_

"This is stupid." I whispered as I pulled away from Alex.

"No it's not, please don't say that." She was still in the exact same position as before; she hadn't moved.

"I could get in so much trouble for this. I'm your teacher for fucks sake."

"Yeah but you really like me and I really like you. I wouldn't tell anyone and obviously you wouldn't either." She reasoned.

"But it's an eight year gap and it feels like it should be wrong."

"It's not though, this feels so right." She smiled, motioning between the two of us.

"It really does." I agree.

"And I'm so sexy that I know you can't resist me for that much longer." She joked.

"I bet I could." I teased.

She stood up from her spot, as if testing me, and carefully manoeuvred her legs. She sat down forcing herself to straddle me and began to grind on my lap. I cannot handle this much longer!

"Can you resist me now?" She asked seductively sending shivers through my entire body; then she softly grazed my earlobe with her perfect, white teeth.

"No." I squealed as I captured her lips with my own. We had a heated make-out session for around ten minutes when I decided to end it.

"I think we need to talk though." I said.

"Sure." She slipped off my lap and sat beside me, nestling her head into my side; I immediately began to pull my fingers through her hair.

"I'm still a bit disturbed as to what I walked in on."

"Yeah about that I'm so sorry." Her face had gone bright red and it was quite adorable.

"It's okay I'm madder at Madison, I told her to stay away from you. I'm extremely pissed off that she got to see your boobs before me." I admitted.

"Well you're going to see so much more than my boobs babes." She winked and now it's my time to blush.

"Alex!" I moaned.

"Well if I have to be embarrassed than you do." She laughed.

"Why are you embarrassed?"

"Because you saw my boobs and that's awkward." She grew considerable brighter as she spoke.

"Aw do you want to see mine?" I asked, actually intending it to be a joke but the lust I could sense in her eyes proved that she wasn't going to take it that way.

"Um yeah." She was dead serious.

"What like right now?" I asked.

"Yes, show me your boobs right this second. You've seen mine so I should get to see yours."

"We've been together for around ten minutes and I'm about to go topless in front of you. Classy ones we are." I chuckled.

She nodded her head in agreement and then planted her eyes on my chest. She was watching my every move when I pulled my top up over my head, leaving me in my bra.

"You're so fucking beautiful." She whispered.

"You are too." And with those three words I unclasped the bra and let it fall to the floor. Her heavy gaze instantly made me feel uncomfortable so I brought my arms up to cover myself.

"Oh no you don't." She said as she pulled my arms down.

She was staring at my boobs for around five minutes before I replaced my top to cover myself.

"We're going to my mom's house now so I can tell them about Maddie. She's not supposed to be doing anything right now so they need to know." I explained.

"Why can't she?"

"She's way too young; she's my baby sister and let's just say there's bad experiences."

"I'm the same age as her and you just flashed me." She laughed.

"Yeah but you're you and she's her. Now go get Max."

…

_ALEX'S POV_

We're all sat in Mitchie's old house where she grew up and it's very awkward. There are two sofas in there and this is how the seating arrangements have gone; Madison, her mom and her dad on one sofa and then me, Max and Mitchie on the other.

"Mitch what's this all about?" her dad asked.

"Why don't you let Madison tell you?" She spat.

"Shut up Mitchie." Maddie retaliated.

"Someone tell me what's going on!" Her mother snapped.

"I came home to find Alex and Madison in a compromising position. I specifically told her to stay clear."

"What compromising position?" He asked.

"Alex had her top off and bra off and Maddie had her top off."

Madison was getting looks of disapproval from both her parents and I knew she was in big trouble.

"Room now!" Her mother roared. I'd never seen such a small woman get so worked up. Madison had tears in her eyes and gave me such a glare as she walked past; like it's my fault?

"Take Alex home now Mitchie." Her dad instructed. I think he has a problem with me now and that's not what I wanted her to achieve.

"Fine."

She stood up off of the sofa and I followed her out to the car, carrying Max close to my side.

"Why did you do that?" I asked.

"You wouldn't understand sweetie."

"They hate me now."

"No that's impossible." She smiled.

…

Max has been in bed for about an hour now and it's just gone eight o'clock. I have school in the morning so I'm trying not to stay up too late. I'm getting beyond distracted though because I don't want to leave the amazing Mitchie. We've only literally been together for about nine hours and I'm scared that when I go to sleep I'll wake up and realise it was all just a dream. We're both playing the play station together; grand theft auto and I'm so comfy. Mitchie is sat down on the sofa and I'm sat down on the floor between her legs (completely innocently.)

"I am so tired." I moan; wrapping my arms around her legs and clinging to her as if my life depended on it.

"Okay but what does that have to do with you squeezing me to death." She chuckled as she draped her fingers through my hair.

"I'm scared that you're going to regret this and leave me or I'm going to wake up and realise that it was all just a dream."

"Baby I will never regret this; you're too perfect to me and trust me it's real." I looked up to meet her gaze and she gave me a sweet, loving peck.

"Everyone I love ends up leaving me or hurting me; my mom, my dad, Steven, Hannah and Tony. I'm scared that you're going to leave me too."

"I just showed you my tits. I would not have done that if I wasn't serious about you. I'm not a slag, I actually really like you and I'm not going anywhere, and who's Tony?" Shit. She doesn't know who he is, I forgot that.

"He's the reason I changed, he's the reason I became such a mega bitch."

"What did he do?"

"He pretended to love me and I dated him for around three months, I eventually gave in and had sex with him and as soon as I had; he left me."

"How old was he?"

"Like 30." Her face had a look of pure shock spread throughout it.

She reached down and hoisted me up off the floor so that I was sat back on her lap like earlier in the day.

"I want you to forget your past now because you have me, and we don't need to relive it. We could have something special and we don't need all those twats ruining it, deal?" She asked.

"Deal." I agreed.

"Good." She stood up off the sofa causing me to fall back and a let out a small yelps. "Sorry." She laughed, then she bent her back a little and motioned for me to jump on, "I shall take you to my lair m'lady."

I hopped onto her back and she ran to her room, purposely bouncing on the stairs so I went all over the place. We were both in hysterics by the time we eventually got to the bed; she chucked me playfully on the bed and sat down beside me.

"Do you need a drink?" She asked.

"Water please."

"Of course, the toilets through there." She pointed to a door just to the left of me, "And don't worry my vibrator has gone." She winked.

Trust her to remember that. My face regained its red state from when I first found the pleasurable object.

…

_MATHS_

"I feel like I haven't seen you in ages!" I gushed as I sat down beside Taylor.

"I know how have you been? Why weren't you in school?" Taylor asked.

"I broke up with Steven and I was like so upset so yeah..." I trailed off, hoping that she brought it.

"Aw I'm sorry! Are you okay now?"

"Yeah I'm perfect." I beamed.

My beau Mitchie was stood up at the front of the class and she literally has me hypnotised.

"What's got you so happy?"

"Nothing." I lied.

"You are obviously lying tell me Lex." Taylor begged.

"Girls be quiet I'm trying to talk." Mitchie scolded and she shot me such a disappointed look that broke my heart.

"I'm sorry." I apologised.

She carried on talking and I re-focused my attention to the front but Taylor wouldn't shut up.

"Tell me, I want to know please!" She whispered.

"Fuck off!" I yelled, turning to Taylor.

"Right Alex come and sit down here at this desk, in front of me." Mitchie ordered.

I grabbed all of my stuff and gave Taylor such a glare, that if looks could kill, she would be dead. 'Miss Torres' carried on with her talk and as soon as she was finished she came over to me.

"What's up with you?" She questioned as she took a seat in the empty chair beside me.

"I'm sorry that was really rude and I apologise." No one could hear of what we were saying because the desk I was sat at was far away from everyone else; Mitchie calls it the naughty desk.

"You having an argument with Taylor?" She asked.

"No, she was just pressing on the fact of why I am so happy." I explained.

"And what would be the answer to that?"

"Well I have this sexy ass cougar who just so happens to have flashed me her boobs yesterday and also she so happens to have started a relationship with me." I flirted.

"Excuse me, cougar? I'm not old enough to be a cougar sweetie but nice try." She chuckled.

"True you are actually only twenty-four but you are eight years older so that must count for something."

"Yeah but you are extremely beautiful and extremely perfect; your age doesn't faze me." She admitted.

"Good because your age doesn't faze me. You know Max loves you."

"He does? Aw, I love him too. You know I'm going to protect you and him, right?"

"Yeah, I know. Are you taking me home again tonight?"

"Of course, when Max has gone to bed we can have some fun? Just the two of us." She suggested subtly trailing her finger up the inside of my thigh.

"Yeah I'd lov—oh!" I quietly squealed as her finger brushed my pantie covered centre.

"Bye Lex." She teased.

…

_BREAK_

"Oh my god Mitchie he's such a twat." I groaned as I walked into her classroom and locked the door behind me.

"Who?" She laughed.

"Mr Friles." I sat down on my girlfriend's lap and snuggled into her.

"He's not that bad." She burst out laughing at my disgusted face.

"Yes he is and don't laugh at me!" I warned jokingly as I hit her in the arm.

"Oi bitch don't hit me." She hit me back in the arm and I gasped in mock horror.

"You can't hit your students."

"You hit me first and is that all you are to me? My student."

"No I'm your sexy ass girlfriend."

"That you are." She agreed as we began to hungrily make-out.

We were sadly disrupted when the bell went off.

"Don't… come… in… at… lunch." She told me between kisses.

"Why?"

"Because it's going to start looking dodgy, I love you and I'll see you in the car park after school." She smiled.

"I love you too, bye."

…

_LUNCH_

I had to perform my song in music and it was actually really embarrassing but then again everyone said that I was amazing. I didn't want to be around Taylor because of how much she pissed me off in tutor so I decided to just go and hang out on my own. I was sat on the grass with my headphones in when someone tapped me on the back. I looked behind me and it was Steven.

"Steven." I said.

"Alex I am so sorry, you don't understand how sorry I am. I shouldn't have done what I did it was so fucking wrong and I regret every second of it. I miss you Lex and I love you. We've been so close for ages and I screwed it up so badly. I don't care that we can't be together; I should have respected you and respected your choices. Please forgive me." He rushed out.

"Ste, it's fine."

"No, don't say that because it's not. What I did was not fine! But I need forgiveness."

"Then I forgive you." I smiled.

"Really?"

"Yeah. Now come here you great big goof ball." I pulled him into a tight hug.

"How have you been? Did I screw you up?"

"You did to start with but I'm forgetting my past now, I'm focused completely on the present. I'm happy right now and that's not on my mind."

"Good, I'm glad that you're happy because that means so much to me."

"Yeah I'm so good." I beamed.

I spent the rest of the lunch catching up with Steven and hearing him apologise to me like fifty more times. I know he's sorry and that he wasn't thinking straight, I forgive him for that.

…

"Max, it's very late now and I think you should go to bed." I instructed.

"Okay Lex but can you take me?"

"Course I can."

I untangled myself from Mitchie and pulled Maxy up into my arms. I carried him to his bed and got him tucked in.

"Night bud." I smiled.

"Goodnight Alex, I love you."

"I love you too."

I pecked him lightly on the forehead and walked back down the stairs. I was so excited for mine and Mitchie's fun.

"Hey sexy." I greeted.

"Hey beautiful." She replied.

"So are fun begins." I smirked.

"It certainly does."

"I want to start it off by singing you another song I wrote for you?" I suggested

"I'd love that."

I picked up the guitar from the corner of the room and knelt down in front of Mitchie.

_Someday, when I'm awfully low,  
When the world is cold,  
I will feel a glow just thinking of you,  
And the way you look tonight._

Yes you're lovely, with your smile so warm,  
And your cheeks so soft,  
There is nothing for me but to love you,  
And the way you look tonight.

With each word your tenderness grows,  
Tearing my fear apart,  
And that laugh that wrinkles your nose,  
It touches my foolish heart.

Lovely, never, ever change,  
Keep that breathless charm,  
Won't you please arrange it,  
Cause I love you, just the way you look tonight.

Mm, mm, mm, mm,  
Just the way you look to-night.

The second the song was finished my guitar was thrown swiftly out of my grip and onto the sofa. She latched her lips onto my neck immediately and my knees went weak.

"I love you so much Lex."

"I love you too."

She ripped my top off and it tore right down the middle, it was one of my favourite tops but she can be forgiven. She stopped ravishing my neck for about two seconds so her top could be discarded. The bras came off next and when I caught sight of Mitchie's boobs, I was more mesmerised than the first time. I lowered my body so that I was kneeling on my knees and placed her hardened bud directly into my hot mouth. The moan that she let out was enough to keep me going. Her hands tightened in my hair, gripping me so that I couldn't move.

"Oh my god Alex!" She squealed.

She placed her hands on my shoulders and pushed me back so that I was lying on the floor; she then pounced on top of me and ripped my bra off just like I had done to her. Her wet mouth on my nipple sent me to heaven, I'm not even kidding. This is better than it's ever been with any of the other people I've had sex with. This is filled with love whereas before it meant nothing.

"I think we should stop." She suddenly stated.

"No we are making love tonight because I want to take our relationship to the next level." I said firmly.

"We've been dating a day and I don't want to rush this." She sighed.

"I need to feel closer to you Mitch please." I begged. The truth is the rape still affected me and I hated knowing that the last person I had sex with was Steven and it was non-consensual. I want to erase it and start again with the girl I'm falling for. "You were just sucking on my tits, what's changed?" I snapped.

"Baby are you okay?" She asked, concern lacing her words.

"Yeah I'm fine sorry for snapping, it's just I'm really frustrated right now and I don't want to stop?"

"Are you sure you want this?"

"More than anything."

She looked me dead in the eyes, to look for any hesitation but the second she found none she smiled up at me, and whipped my trousers and pants down in one swift motion. I felt very vulnerable all of a second so I flipped us over. She had too many layers on and I needed to change that. As soon as she was naked too, I was flipped back over.

Mitchie traced kisses all the way down my body, tugging at my belly bar with her teeth once she reached my stomach. The feelings I was getting where beyond this world; something I've never felt before.

"I need you." She hesitated once again when she came face to face with my heat but the second I whispered those three words she plunged her tongue deep into my entrance.

"Oh my fucking god." I screamed; squirming around on the floor beneath her.

She used her thumb to caress and squeeze my clit; the sensations were too much. Before long I was cumming around her finger and she lapped it all up. There was still some of my juices on her middle finger but the second we made eye contact she sucked her finger dry.

"That was fucking perfect and it's your turn now." I winked; flipping us over once again

**Think the sex scene was shit so sorry:/ Oh and also sorry if you think it was too rushed but it was all about her rape and so she had reasons. please review:') 5 till I update.**


	10. Iris

**Chapter Ten - Iris**

_ALEX'S POV_

It's been four weeks since Mitchie became my girlfriend and we slept together. Things were great to start with and I was happier than I'd been in years but it didn't last long. I started feeling ill in the mornings and I realised that my period was a week overdue, that's exactly why I'm sat here now, on the toilet, with a pregnancy test in my hand. A postive test to be more precise. I knew that everything was too good to be true; no one at school suspected a thing, me and Steven were getting along great and even Hannah wasn't causing any shit. But this has ruined it all. I'm sixteen I can't be dealing with a child and what if Mitchie decides we need to break up because she's not ready for children. She's only twenty four and the thought might scare her although she's brilliant with Max. What am I going to tell her? Do I say I was raped and tell the truth or should I lie and say I consented. I was way too scared and traumatised to remember the morning after pill and look where that's landed me.

"Lex!" Mitchie shouted from downstairs. Just the fact that we were in the same house scared me. What if she finds out?

"Yeah?" I yelled back.

"You have a letter."

I placed the stick by the sink and ran down to Mitch; she handed me the letter the second I entered the room. I didn't really know why I'd have a letter to be honest especially one that was sent to Mitchie's house. I ripped open the envelope in a haste and my eyes literally popped out of my head when I spotted the first line.

"What is it?" Mitch questioned impatiently.

"I sent an audition to the X factor people online and I got accepted!" I screamed.

"Oh my god Alex." Mitchie joined in on the excitement; jumping around in circles.

"I actually have an audition!"

"Oh my god! This is amazing."

"I know."

I jumped into her arms and she began to spin me around, it didn't last for long though. It must be that I'm just not allowed to have a bit of happiness anymore because the second something comes along that's worthy of celebration it's ruined. This time by Max.

"What's this?" He asked as he came walking into the room.

I assumed he meant the letter so I wasn't worried but the second Mitch stiffened and put me back on the floor I knew he was on about something else. The second I shifted my gaze to the younger boy my heart stopped. There in his hand was my pregnancy test.

"Where did you find that?" Mitchie snapped. Her sudden harsh voice scared the little boy and he retreated.

"I found it in your bathroom." He whispered.

"I'm sorry for shouting just pass it here."

She studied the white object and a look of pure shock spread across her face followed disappointment; it broke my heart.

"I c-c-can explain." I stuttered.

"What is it?" Max asked.

"It's a pregnancy test and it means that Alex is pregnant." She glared at me as she explained the situation to Max.

"Is pregnancy to do with sex?"

"Maxwell Russo! How do you know such words?!" Mitchie scolded.

"I heard daddy and ALex talking about it before he left, is it like rape?"

"Max." She said.

"That's just what I heard, all the boys fuck Alex and daddy treated her like a girlfriend. I don't know what it means, can you tell me?" He looked so sweet and it was obvious that he had no clue how serious the situation was, he must have overheard mine and dad's conversation. Right now I need him to leave.

"Get the fuck out right now!" I screamed. My sudden outburst completely shocked him and he ran out crying.

"Please tell me what he was saying wasn't true!" She pleaded.

I couldn't bring myself to even look at her, I just sunk to the floor and clutched my legs to my chest.

"Lex." She tried but I wasn't even comprehending a word she was saying.

_MITCHIE'S POV_

I hate seeing my baby cry. We may have only been dating for around four weeks but still she's my world. I scooped her up into my arms carefully and sat down on the sofa, she immediately clung onto my side and I ran my fingers through her hair; I know that it soothes her.

"I need you to tell me what he was on about Lex." I said.

"I do-do-don't want y-y-you to hate m-m-me." She cried.

"That could never happen baby. I love you and nothing about your past or present is going to change that." I emphasised 'present' by placing my hand on her belly.

"It goes so far back to when I was like twelve and Max was born. Before then me, my Mom and Dad got on like a house on fire it was perfect but the second Max was born they just changed. My Mom was so busy with the baby that she just forgot me and resented me, then my dad started treating me like some sex object because my mom wasn't giving him any. When I met Tony I gained hope again but the second he screwed me over too I was done. I started to believe what they all said and I became that girl. The girl who doesn't give a shit, the girl who doesn't try and the girl who sleeps with anyone that has a pulse. When I met you I felt so attracted to you it was unreal. You made me light up inside and gave me little butterflies. I didn't want to get close to you because I was afraid and also I didn't want to like girls but the fact that I'm a lesbian makes a lot of sense now. Anyway I used Steven because; one, he actually liked me and treated me good and two, he's a guy. After our talk when you said 'never say never' I knew that I had to stop lying to myself and I needed to end it with Ste. Just as he was trying to have sex with me, I was trying to break up with him and it got out of contol. He was shocked because I always put out, I was changing for you but he took it personal; it hurt his ego and so he took it out on me. He raped me and then I left. When you turned me down it literally broke my heart and that's why I became so distant and hurtful towards you, I didn't want to go to school because I was scared of seeing him and scared of what he'd do. When I heard that my mom was leaving I had to go over there because she was going to do the exact same thing I did; leave Max alone. I know that was a stupid reckless thing to do and I wasn't about to let them do the same; I confronted my dad and he slapped me. You brought us home and now you're making me feel so much better. I'm happy with you and I'm happy here, this pregnancy is just a minor set back." By the time she finished her explanation I was completely gobsmacked. Those little fuckers hurt my Alex and that seriously makes my blood boil.

"I'm so sorry that you had to go through that; We have to get Steven and your dad arrested straight away. They can't get away with that."

"No! That's why I didn't tell you, I don't want to bring it all up again. I've forgiven Steven anyway."

"What? Are you out of your mind?!" I yelled. She winced at my tone but I was too furious to care.

"No I'm not out of my mind but I'm happy now. It's over and even you said that I should forget my past. Steven is a decent lad and I've known him since year seven; we've been best friends all that time. It was just a mistake; he didn't mean to hurt me he just wasn't thinking straight. I know what he did was big but I'm not pressing charges, I'm not having the whole school find out what happened because I just couldn't handle that." She cried. I felt bad and pulled her in my arms again.

"I don't think I can see it the same as you."

"Don't make it a big deal at school, just stay away from him please!" I couldn't say no to that face.

"Fine but I'm not happy about this."

"I love you Mitch."

"I love you too Lex."

Gazing into her eyes I could see all the hurt and the pain; I couldn't stand to see her like that. I connected our lips and gave her the most loving kiss that I could, just to show her that I was here.

"I'm not ever leaving you, you've got me for good." I confessed.

"I wouldn't have it any other way." She beamed.

"What the fuck?" Someone yelled.

We broke apart straight away and turned to look at where the noise had come from. There by the door was Madison, my mom and my dad. Oh shit.

"How much did you see?" I asked.

"The kiss onwards." My mom said. I could tell, just by her tone of voice, that she was beyond mad.

"I think we need to talk." My dad stated.

_ALEX'S POV_

The three members of Mitchie's family took a seat on the opposite sofa whilst me and Mitch stayed where we were.

"Alex is your student what are you thinking?" Her mother is furious.

"I'm so sorry mom but she means everything to me. I didn't plan for this to happen it just did and I can't stop it now, please don't tell anyone." She begged.

"It's cool with me Mitch. I knew that you liked Alex, I could tell when you warned me off her and then Alex admitted to me that she likes you. I know that you're not taking advantage of her and I'm sorry for getting in the way of things. If it counts for anything I'm not going to say a word to anyone." Madison smiled.

By now both of us were in tears and feeling severly awkward but we managed a simple smile to Maddie, telling her we were greatful.

"I'm not going to be so fast to agree to this, I'm not happy." Her father was just as mad.

"I'm sorry daddy."

"I can't believe you let this happen. You're smarter than this!"

"I didn't mean for it to pan out like it did, you have to believe me." Mitchie was getting so desperate.

"Have you slept with her yet?" Her mother's voice was cold and frosty.

Mitchie couldn't lie to her mom, she believed in being polite to elders so she just looked down and didn't say a word.

"I can't believe you were stupid enough to fuck her! I'm not happy about this at all but I won't tell anyone. I can't have my baby girl put in prison but lets make this clear, I am beyond dissapointed and don't expect to hear from me anytime soon." Mitchie's sobs broke out now and they were the only thing breaking the silence. She'd never once heard her mom curse; I couldn't stand to see her suffering so I reached out and took a hold of her hand.

"I know that you can't help who you fall in love with so I think I'm going to learn to be okay with this but it will take some time." Her dad smiled.

"Thanks so much dad."

"Yeah well I better get going, come on Madison." They both got up and walked towards the door, just before Maddie walked through she turned around.

"I love you Mitch and I'll see you Alex." And then she carried on walking and left us on our own.

...

"I wrote another song for you." I informed Mitchie.

"Can I hear it?" Sheasked sweetly even though she knew I was going to sing it to her anyway.

"Of course."

_And I'd give up forever to touch you,_  
_'Cause I know that you feel me somehow,_  
_You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be,_  
_And I don't want to go home right now,_  
_And all I can taste is this moment,_  
_And all I can breathe is your life,_  
_And sooner or later it's over,_  
_I just don't wanna miss you tonight._

_And I don't want the world to see me,_  
_'Cause I don't think that they'd understand,_  
_When everything's meant to be broken,_  
_I just want you to know who I am._

_And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming,_  
_Or the moment of truth in your lies,_  
_When everything feels like the movies,_  
_Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive._

_And I don't want the world to see me,_  
_'Cause I don't think that they'd understand,_  
_When everything's meant to be broken,_  
_I just want you to know who I am,_  
_And I don't want the world to see me,_  
_'Cause I don't think that they'd understand,_  
_When everything's meant to be broken,_  
_I just want you to know who I am,_  
_And I don't want the world to see me,_  
_'Cause I don't think that they'd understand,_  
_When everything's meant to be broken,_  
_I just want you to know who I am,_  
_I just want you to know who I am,_  
_I just want you to know who I am,_  
_I just want you to know who I am._

"I wrote this some time after the rape when you weren't mine. All I wanted was to be your girlfriend and I just wanted you to know the real me instead of the bitchy me I potrayed." Tears had started to fall and I suddenly felt very vulnerable.

"It's beautiful and so are you. I'm so happy that you've opened up to me and that we have no secrets. My dad will come around eventually and so will my mom; they're just shocked."

I looked into Mitchie's eyes and once again I was happy and content; everything felt right.

"I think we should discuss the baby tomorrow. I'm four weeks gone so we're going to have to start planning appointments and shit." I sighed.

"So you're definetely keeping it?" She asked.

"Yeah."

"Then we'll raise it together."

We started to make out and it was getting very heated, and when I say 'very heated' I mean Mitchie had her hand in my bra and was fondling my boob whilst I was fingering her.

"I'm so sorry Lex!" Max shouted. We broke apart immediately.

"Why are you shouting and how long have you been there?"

"I'm shouting to get your attention and since you had your hand down her panties." He giggled. Oh what it was to be young and innocent.

"Oh okay then buddy, come here." I motioned for him to join me and Mitch on the sofa and he ran and jumped on the both of us.

"I really am sorry."

"It's okay little man. I love you."

"I love you too Alex."

**Review please?:') 5 till I update.**


	11. I Won't Give Up

Alex's POV

"I'm really nervous." I admitted as I began to chew wildly at my nails.

"Don't worry you're going to be fine." Mitchie soothed.

We're both on the way to my appointment at the hospital to confirm my pregnancy. After our research we learnt that I don't actually need antenatal care until 10-12 weeks but I need to know what to do in the meantime to protect my child.

"You know I can't go in with you right?" Mitchie sighed.

"What?! Why?!" I cried.

"Because I'm your teacher and it will just seem dodgy."

She did have a point.

"I can't believe that I have to do this alone."

"You could have called a friend." Mitchie suggested.

"The only friend I have is Taylor and I haven't spoken to her in so long."

"You need to talk to her." Mitchie said.

"I know I do and I will but I'm just not ready. She's my best friend and I know that the second we meet up I'm going to have to tell her everything and I'm just scared." I confessed.

"She'll be okay with everything and trust me she'll support you."

Yeah I hope so...

* * *

"Okay then," the doctor paused to take a look at his clipboard, "Alexandra Russo, how far along do you think you are?"

"I'm not sure, the conception took place around four weeks ago so four weeks?" I guessed.

"No I'm afraid that's not correct you have to carry it on from the last day of your menstrual cycle." He explained.

"Oh okay then I'm..." It took me a few minutes to calculate, "6 weeks gone."

It finally hit home when those 3 words escaped my mouth. I'm pregnant and it's six weeks in. I'm sixteen and pregnant and I have no parents and I have no friends.

"You won't need to go to any routine antenatal appointment until around 4-5 weeks time but we do need to check the baby now to ensure that you are actually pregnancy and that everything is alright."

"Okay then."

He smiled sympathetically at me as I climbed onto the hospital bed and laid down uncomfortably.

"As you're only six weeks gone you will need a vaginal check so I'm going to find a woman to do the procedure, alright?"

"Yeah okay then."

My heart was beating a 1000 beats a minute as I waited for a new doctor to do the test. I was starting to feel really upset and lonely, I just wanted Mitchie and I just wanted to go home. The tears began to flow down my face and I just couldn't contain them.

"Sweetie are you okay?!" A woman was now in the room beside me stroking my arm.

"I just want this to be over with." I choked. This wasn't how everything was supposed to pan out.

"Okay well I'm going to have to ask you to change into a gown, is that okay?"

"Yeah sure." I whispered. She placed the gown in my arms and I retreated to the bathroom to change.

It was daunting and I was scared to be that open and obvious with a woman I've never met. Mitchie is the only girl that has ever seen, down there, and I wanted it to stay that way.

"Okay so are you ready?" She checked.

"Yeah I'm good."

She carefully lifted my legs into the stirrups and sat down on the stool in front of me. She began to coat the top of this long prod thing in a gooey substance and the fear was back straight away.

"So this is just called a transducer and its just a probe that I have to insert into your vagina." She said.

"What?! I don't think that's gonna fit." I panicked.

"It will be fine I promise."

Her reassurance made me feel a lot better and I began to relax a little more. The procedure didn't actually hurt and it was quite quick.

"You are indeed pregnant and the development does fit in with your six weeks theory. You need to now book an appointment with your gp for your 10-12 week mark. Take it easy around school and make sure to eat healthily. You should be able to do PE still but you need to be really careful and you can't do stuff such as dodgeball. Do your parents know about this?"

"Yes." I lied.

"So where are they?" I think maybe she was catching onto the lie.

"At work. They couldn't make it." This seemed to satisfy her.

"Oh, okay then. Good luck."

"Thank you."

I practically ran out of the hospital and into Mitche's car. This was just too overwhelming.

* * *

It took Mitch around an hour to console me and cheer me up after we got home. She didn't get why I was so distraught and upset and to be honest I didn't either.

"You feeling better now?" Mitchie asked as I was sat on her lap snuggled into her chest.

"I bit." I whispered.

"You know I'm never going to leave you baby. I don't care what happens or how this all ends, no matter what I'll be by your side the whole time."

"I love you so much Mitchie."

"I love you too."

"I wrote you another song." I told her as I sat up straighter.

"You have?" She beamed.

Mitchie always loved it when I sang her my original songs made just for her.

"Yeah but I didn't do the guitar tune so it's just me singing."

"I'll love it no matter what." She smiled.

I wiped face with the sleeve of my jumper and took a few deep breathes to calm myself.

_"When I look into your eyes,_  
_It's like watching the night sky,_  
_Or a beautiful sunrise,_  
_There's so much they hold,_  
_And just like them old stars,_  
_I see that you've come so far,_  
_To be right where you are,_  
_How old is your soul?_

_I won't give up on us,_  
_Even if the skies get rough,_  
_I'm giving you all my love,_  
_I'm still looking up._

_And when you're needing your space,_  
_To do some navigating,_  
_I'll be here patiently waiting,_  
_To see what you find._

_'Cause even the stars they burn,_  
_Some even fall to the earth,_  
_We've got a lot to learn,_  
_God knows we're worth it,_  
_No: I won't give up._

_I don't wanna be someone who walks away so easily,_  
_I'm here to stay and make the difference that I can make,_  
_Our differences they do a lot to teach us how to use,_  
_The tools and gifts we got, yeah, we got a lot at stake,_  
_And in the end, you're still my friend at least we did intend,_  
_For us to work we didn't break, we didn't burn,_  
_We had to learn how to bend without the world caving in,_  
_I had to learn what I've got, and what I'm not, and who I am._

_I won't give up on us,_  
_Even if the skies get rough,_  
_I'm giving you all my love,_  
_I'm still looking up, still looking up._

_I won't give up on us,_  
_God knows I'm tough enough,_  
_We've got a lot to learn,_  
_God knows we're worth it._

_I won't give up on us,_  
_Even if the skies get rough,_  
_I'm giving you all my love,_  
_I'm still looking up."_

6 reviews till an update:')


	12. Gift Of A Friend

ALEX'S POV

"You sure that you're okay with going to school today?" Mitchie asked me. It was a question that had been brought up nearly five times in a space of an hour.

"Yeah it will be fine. I don't have to tell anyone and I'll have Taylor by my side." I reassured her.

It's been two days since I went to the hospital for my scan and three days since Mitchie's family found out about our relationship.

"Are you going to speak to Steven today?" Mitchie still refused to forgive him for what he did and I can understand that.

"Yeah probably, I might tell him about the baby."

"Are you going to let him have a say in it?" I could tell that the very thought pissed her off.

"Of course not babe, this is going to be our baby!" I pulled her in for a sweet, soft kiss, "No one is going to decide what's best except for us."

"Good." She smiled.

* * *

_TUTOR_

"I feel like I haven't seen you in time!" Taylor moaned. I hadn't actually spoken to my best friend in around two weeks.

"I know and I'm so sorry but I seriously have like a lot to tell you." I think she could sense my fear because her face softened immediately.

"Lex, what is it?"

"Miss said that we could go outside to talk about it." I whispered. It felt as though I was losing the ability to actually speak; I was shaking so hard.

"Okay then."

We both stood up and I took her hand in my mine to try and gain a little confidence. Mitchie sent me a smile which I tried my hardest to return but my nerves were rocketing too high.

"So what's up?" Taylor questioned as we sat down on the bench outside.

"I'm pregnant." I thought it would be so much easier to just come out with it and be done.

"Wait, what?! I didn't know that you and Steven had got that serious." Her words caused me to start crying. I thought that I was over it all but I evidently wasn't, "Alex what is it?"

"I didn't consent." I managed to say. Her face immediately broke up and she began to cry with me, "Why are you crying?"

"Because my best friend was raped!" Taylor had pulled me into a hug and was rubbing my shoulder comfortingly, "I'm going to kill him."

Around five minutes later I was able to speak, "I've forgiven Steven."

"What the fuck?! Why?!" Taylor seemed just as furious as Mitchie.

"Because he's been one of my closest friends for so long and he was there to cheer me up when I needed it. He made one mistake and I didn't want to hold it against him so I just dropped it. You're going to have to accept that. Mitchie has a-" SHIT.

"Who's Mitchie?" Taylor was confused now.

"N. one." I stuttered.

"Alex tell me." I hated to see her so hurt.

"My girlfriend."

"You like girls now?" She seemed so shocked but not angry so I decided to tell her.

"Yes but when I tell you who she is you have to promise me that you're not going to freak out and you're not going to tell anyone." I ordered.

"Okay, I promise."

"It's Miss Torres." I searched her face for any clues of how she was feeling.

"Wow." And that's all that she would say.

"Please say something."

"How long has this been going on?" I stopped the conversation a second to try and do the calculations.

"Around a month." She didn't seem to be disgusted or horrified so I took that as a good sign.

"And you didn't tell me?" Now she was back to hurt.

"I'm sorry but I was so scared. I need Mitchie so bad right now and I was just worried that if I told you and you reacted badly then I'd get taken away from the one thing that's keeping me sane." I honestly did want to talk to her before.

"I'd never do that to you." Taylor promised.

"I know that now and I hated not speaking to you for all this time; it was shit."

"I know how did you cope without me?" Taylor joked.

"I wrote you a song." I admitted.

"You did?" She sounded surprised.

"Yeah."

"Can I hear it?"

"Okay then." I blushed a bit before I began, "Sometimes you think you'll be fine by yourself,  
Cause a dream is a wish that you make all alone,  
It's easy to feel like you don't need help,  
But it's harder to walk on your own,  
You'll change inside,  
When you realize.

The world comes to life,  
And everything's bright,  
From beginning to end,  
When you have a friend,  
By your side,  
That helps you to find,  
The beauty you are,  
When you open your heart,  
And believe in,  
The gift of a friend,  
The gift of a friend.

Someone who knows when you're lost and you're scared,  
There through the highs and the lows,  
Someone to count on, someone who cares,  
Beside you wherever you go,  
You'll change inside,  
When you realize.

The world comes to life,  
And everything's bright,  
From beginning to end,  
When you have a friend,  
By your side,  
That helps you to find,  
The beauty you are,  
When you open your heart,  
And believe in,  
The gift of a friend.

And when your hope crashes down,  
Shattering to the ground,  
You, you feel all alone,  
When you don't know which way to go,  
And there's no signs leading you home,  
You're not alone.

The world comes to life,  
And everything's bright,  
From beginning to end,  
When you have a friend,  
By your side,  
That helps you to find,  
The beauty you are,  
When you open your heart,  
And believe in,  
When you believe in,  
When you believe in,  
The gift of a friend."

She had tears in her eyes once again when I finished the song.

"Did you like it?" I asked.

"I loved it."

"It's just you've always been there for me and you make my life so much better." I smiled.

We shared another hug before we walked back to tutor. She had so many more questions to ask but that would have to wait until another time.

* * *

"How did it go with Taylor?" Mitchie asked.

It was break now and I was curled up on Mitchie's lap whilst she marked her students work.

"It was good actually; she was unusually calm about the whole thing." I smiled just remembering the conversation.

"What exactly did you tell her?" I hope that she doesn't get mad about me revealing our secret.

"That I was pregnant, about the rape and the whole me and you thing." I rushed the last part hoping that maybe she wouldn't hear.

"Wait, what?!" She dropped the pen that was once in her hand and turned me round so that I was effectively straddling her and we were facing each other.

"I'm sorry but she's my best friend and I had to tell her! I've kept so many secrets from her as it is and I hated not being able to talk to her about shit. She doesn't even care and she promised that she wouldn't tell anyone. Please don't be mad." I begged.

"I'm not mad at you, I just got worried." She gently pecked my lips to make sure that I knew she was okay with me.

"Good I'm glad." I turned back around and she continued to do her marking.

No more words were spoken between this; we were together and that's all that mattered.

* * *

I'm literally crapping myself right about now. I'm meeting Steven in the school bathroom in around five minutes and I'm so scared about what he's going to say. I couldn't wait any longer so I made my way there; obviously he had the same idea because as I walked through the door Steven was already in the room sat on a counter.

"Hey what's up Alex?" Okay here goes…

"I have to tell you something Ste and I don't know how you're going to take it." I breathed; my heart beating five million beats per minute.

"You're scaring me now." He laughed though it was obviously nervous.

"Steven, I'm pregnant." I closed my eyes too scared for his reaction.

"What?!" He was loud and angry and seemed much closer than he had been before. I opened my eyes and he was standing right in front of me, "You're getting rid of it right?"

"I can't! It's a baby!" He knows exactly how I feel about abortion.

"You can't do this to me!" He warned.

"Do this to you? You're the one who fucking raped me! This is all on you." I was getting extremely angry now. How dare he say that?

"You're a whore Alex! You were gagging for it and you know it." Tears began to pour down my face; I thought that all this hurting was over.

"Steven, please don't do this." I pleaded.

"You're a worthless piece of shit." He sneered.

I turned to walk away and that's when I felt the first hit. He'd got me right in the head and I fell to the ground. The last thing I heard was him saying, "If you won't get rid of the little shit I'll do it for you," and then it all went black.

**Reviews?:')**


	13. The Reason

MITCHIE'S POV

"Taylor!" I called.

I was currently sat at my desk in my classroom teaching my fourth period maths. I got worried at the start of the lesson when Alex hadn't turned up but I was beyond worried now that twenty minutes had gone by.

"Yes miss." She asked as she approached the desk.

"Have you seen Alex?"

"No, the last I heard she was going to speak to Steven." Taylor explained.

My heart stopped at the mention of the boy, she was going to tell him she was pregnant, what if he's hurt her? He's already raped her; I don't know what he's capable of.

"Do you know where they were meeting?" I asked.

"Yeah in the toilets by S block I think, why?" She was obviously puzzled.

"Well you know what happened, right?" I paused and she nodded, "I'm worried, just go to the toilets and see if she's okay please."

"Sure." She ran out the room; clearly as scared as me and I was left in the classroom to wait.

Not long passed before she was back (around five minutes) and I could tell just by her facial expression that it was bad news.

"Miss, come quick she's hurt." Taylor rushed.

I didn't give a second thought about the class that I was currently supposed to be teaching, I just got up and raced out the door. I arrived at the toilets in under a minute and my heart literally tore in two at the sight. Alex was lying right under the mirror; blood surrounding her. As I got closer I realised that her face was cut in several places with broken glass and her top had been lifted. The word 'SLAG' had been carved onto her belly and several bruises were already forming in that area. It suddenly struck me that Steven had tried to get rid of the baby.

I scooped the younger girl up into my arms and raced to the MI room ordering Taylor, who was behind me, to phone for an ambulance at the same time. The only concern I had was making sure that Alex was okay and trying my hardest to ensure that the baby was too.

…

ALEX'S POV

I tried to open my eyes but everything was blurry, my whole body ached (especially my stomach) and I couldn't see a thing.

"Hello?" I croaked.

"Oh my god Alex, are you okay?" It was Taylor who was asking.

I was glad that my best friend was by my side but I was sort of counting on Mitchie's company.

"What happened?" I questioned.

"It was Steven; he flipped out when you told him about the baby." Everything came flooding back and I clutched at my stomach in panic.

"The baby." I cried.

"It's okay; you're okay." She soothed.

I couldn't stop the sobs that were threating to fall. I broke down on the hospital bed and immediately felt a dip where Taylor had joined me. I clung to her side and just let it all out.

"Mitchie." I chocked.

"She's at home with Max." At least my baby brother and Mitchie are safe, "Lex, I'm just going to go find a nurse to tell them that you're awake."

"Okay." I whispered.

I watched Taylor walk away and continued to clutch my stomach, the only way I could connect with my unborn child. I never planned on getting pregnant at sixteen and I hated the idea at first but I still loved the baby; the thought of losing it made me die a little inside.

"Miss Russo, you're awake." The nurse observed.

"Yeah." Way to state the obvious…

"How are you feeling?" She asked.

"Like I was beaten half to death." I tried to joke.

"On a scale of 1-10, how bad is the pain?" I take it she's not one for humour.

"Around an 8, but I'd rather talk about the baby, is it okay?" The only thing that I was currently stressed about was whether I still had a baby inside of me.

"Your baby is still healthy and fine, it's a strong little fighter." She smiled.

I sighed in relief and for the first time since I woke up I felt happy, "Good."

"We did another vaginal check and there have been no changes but we will need to keep you in for around two more days to ensure that there are no more changes." The nurse stressed.

"Okay then, that's fine." Does that mean I have to go two days without seeing Mitchie?

"There's a police officer here to see you, can I send her in?" She asked.

"Yeah, I guess." The second she left the room Taylor turned to face me.

"It's all going to be fine, just you see." She reassured.

"Taylor Swift, could you please leave the room?" The sudden voice turned me to look in that direction and stood there was a middle aged woman in a police uniform.

"I'll just be outside, okay?" Taylor told me.

"Alright." I smiled.

As soon as Taylor was gone the woman sat down in the seat beside me.

"Hello Alex, my name is Jen." She said.

"Hey." I replied.

"I just have to ask you a few questions about what happened at school today and the incident that happened five weeks ago." She frowned obviously trying to be sensitive.

"Ask away."

"Steven Jones, aged sixteen is currently in our custody. We found his blood mixed in with yours and matched the first shaped bruises on your body to his own so we're pretty confident with our case today, about the rape do you still have the clothes that you wore that day?" She asked.

"Yes, they're in my cupboard." I admitted.

"And that would be your cupboard where?" She looked down at her notebook and then back at me.

"My cupboard at home." I lied.

"Right, well where your home is where? Because, your mother and father have been gone for about four weeks now?" Shit. "And Steven Jones said he was picking you up from a park across town."

"I was just crashing at a friend's." I tried.

"What friends would that be?" What's with all the questions?

"Taylor's." I hope that she covers for me…

"Well, Taylor's parents say differently." I'm so screwed. "What about Maxwell Russo, where's he been?"

"With me." Well at least that's not a lie.

"I'm going to ask once more, where?" I didn't even bother to conger up a lie, "I ask because we currently have Maxwell Russo in our care as well as Michelle Torres."

The second those words left her mouth I felt my heart drop. What does she know? Is Mitchie going to jail, what's happened?! I couldn't stop the tears falling.

"Michelle says that you and Max have been staying with her and Maxwell confirmed that." She explained.

"Yeah." I let out.

"Why were you there?" She asked.

"Because I needed someone, because I was scared, because my parents had abandoned me, because me and Max had nowhere else to go, because we had no money and because I'm just a little kid and I needed help." I sobbed.

"Why are you so upset?" She wondered.

"You're going to take me away from her and I need her." I blubbered.

"Is there something sexual going on between the two of you?" She accused.

"WHAT?!" I yelled.

"Are you and Michelle in a relationship?" She repeated.

"That's fucking vile." I spat, "Are you accusing me of being a god damn dyke?" I shouted.

"Now please, calm down I was just asking." She obviously was taken aback by my outburst and was expected a different reaction.

"Well, that was absurd." I snapped.

"You know how wrong it to live with a teacher, right?" She asked me.

"Yes but I don't know why. All Mitchie is doing is giving me and Max the home that we need, the food that we need and the care that we need. Without her we'd be stuck in some care home with god knows what. She's the only reason I'm even alive right now, I owe her a lot and yeah, I need her." Please tell me she's not going to jail.

"Mawell did say the same sorts of things though obviously his words were a lot simpler considering his age." She stated.

"I still can't believe that you would suggest Mitchie would be in a relationship with a student and even worse a girl, she's a well-respected member of this community." I scolded.

"I'm very sorry." She apologised.

"So what's going to happen? Please don't take me and Max away from the one thing we need at the minute." I pleaded.

"I will have to speak to social services about the whole ordeal but it should be okay if you were to see them right now? Obviously, as long as I'm just outside." She reasoned.

"Okay thanks." I sniffled.

"I'll just go make some calls." She left the room and then Taylor returned.

She stayed with me (to make sure I wasn't alone) until the police woman returned. I felt my stomach doing summersaults at the thought of seeing Mitchie. I had only seen her just this morning but with all the chaos and the police drama I was afraid of losing her.

"I'm afraid you can only have five minutes." She said.

"Okay, thanks anyway." It wasn't her fault.

I started to cry once again when my two favourite people walked in the room. They had both clearly been distressed and it broke my heart.

"I'm scared Lex." Max admitted as he came straight to the bed and climbed on beside me.

"I know Bud but it's going to be okay and I won't ever leave you." I promised.

"Are you okay?" Mitchie spoke up.

"I'm doing alright." I lied.

"And the baby?" They wouldn't tell me." I could tell just by hearing her voice that she was scared.

"It's fine." I reassured.

I saw the look of pure relief shoot across her face and it cheered me up to know how much she cared.

"Why did you tell them?" I asked.

"Because I had to, it was time and you're worth getting in trouble over." She smiled.

"But couldn't this mean jail time?" I stressed.

"Like I said; you're worth it." I don't know how I ever became so lucky.

"Check my bag." I said.

"Where is it?" She questioned.

"Just there by the door." I pointed to the location and she went and retrieved it, "Take my song book out and pass it to me."

She got the book and brought it over to me, as I took it from her, our hands brushed and the sparks coursed through my being. I looked through the object until I found what I was looking for and then I handed it back to the older girl.

"Read this, I wrote it right after I heard you on the phone with Dan. I thought that you were into him and that me and Max were just a burden to you. I was planning on leaving but I'm glad that I didn't, anyway the point is I need you to know just how much you mean to me, in case I don't see you again." I whispered.

"You'll see me again." She stated but she took the book anyway and sat down on the chair to read it.

MITCHIE'S POV

**_I'm not a perfect person  
There's many things I wish I didn't do  
But I continue learning  
I never meant to do those things to you  
And so I have to say before I go  
That I just want you to know_**

I've found a reason for me  
To change who I used to be  
A reason to start over new  
And the reason is you

I'm sorry that I hurt you  
It's something I must live with every day  
And all the pain I put you through  
I wish that I could take it all away  
And be the one who catches all your tears  
That's why I need you to hear

[ From: .net ]  
I've found a reason for me  
To change who I used to be  
A reason to start over new  
And the reason is you

And the reason is you  
And the reason is you  
And the reason is you

I'm not a perfect person  
I never meant to do those things to you  
And so I have to say before I go  
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me  
To change who I used to be  
A reason to start over new  
And the reason is you

I've found a reason to show  
A side of me you didn't know  
A reason for all that I do  
And the reason is you

By the time I'd finished reading the song my face was literally soaked. I know that I should never have fallen for my student but I did and I'm so in love with her.

"You're my Dan Lex, it's you." I smiled.

She was just about to reply when Jen walked back in.

"It's time for you two to go now." She informed us.

"Max, I love you and I'm going to see you again very soon bud." Alex said to the little cutie pie. She had trouble getting him to let her go but eventually he did and he ran to hold my hand.

"Tell Dan I love him, okay?" I was hoping that she would get my double meaning considering I just told her that she was my Dan.

"I will do but I think he already knows." She smiled and I knew that she understood perfectly.

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	14. Hanging On

**Sorry for any spelling mistakes and errors I don't have word on my computer at the moment so i don't have the automatic spell checker :/**

ALEX'S POV

The past two days have gone by agonozingly slow but finally I'm allowed to leave. Nothing has changed in my health or for the baby's; we're still perfectly healthy. I have no clue where I'm even going today or who it's with. I haven't seen Max and Mitchie since our last meeting in the very room I'm lying in now.

"Alexandra, you should get up and dressed now so that you can be discharged." My nurse said as she came bounding into my room; I never did like that woman.

"Where am I going?" I asked.

"How should I know?" She snapped.

"I was only asking." I ushered her out the room so that I could change into my clothes from the days before.

Within ten minutes I had my clothes on, my teeth brushed and had my bag on my back. I sat down on the bed to watch tv and wait for the officer to return.

At haround twelve a woman, after knocking, came into my room but it wasn't the officer from before.

"Hello Alexandra, my name is Nikki and I'm your social worker." She greeted.

"It's Alex and I don't need a social worker I'm sixteen." I pointed out.

"You have to be eighteen, you can live alone right now but you're still a child." She explained.

"So what? Am I going to be living alone? What's happening with Max?" I questioned.

"A family has agreed to temperarily foster Maxwell and they've also agreed to let you live with them until Max leaves." She smiled.

"Max, and I don't really want to live with some random family." I moaned.

"They're not random; you've met them before. Connie and Steve Torres?" No fucking way. Mitchie's parents?

"You mean Mitchie's parents?" I checked.

"Yes, Michelle is still currently being held at the station but she isn't expected to be held for much longer and then I belive that she is adopting Maxwell and you should be moving back to her house." Nikki beamed.

"Omg! Really?" I exclaimed.

"Really, now come on out to the waiting room and you can meet up with your new foster family." I jumped up off the bed and practically ran the whole way. I couldn't stop the face-eating grin from filling my entire face when I spotted Max holding Madison's hand.

"Alex!" He yelled.

The whole thing was quite dramatic; he ran the whole length of the room and jumped hight into my awaiting arms.

"I missed you buddy."

"I missed you too."

I held him tightly to my chest and walked over to Connie, Steve and Maddy.

"Thanks so much for this." I said.

"It's not a problem."

We didn't really talk about much, scared that we would let information slip, until we got it the car.

"I do appreciate this a lot Mrs Torres but I thought you were against the whole thing?" I was pretty confused to be honest.

"Well I was but then Mitchie has always been one to follow her heart and she doesn't tend to hold back at all. I guess I was just scared and panicked and I thought maybe this was just a hooking up thing but then when Michelle went and told the police about you living with her I realised that it was the real deal and I'm willing to stick by this and support your relationship." Connie spoke.

"You have no idea how much that means to me." I smiled.

We spent the next five minutes in complete silence before we pulled up to their house. Me and Max hopped out the car and followed the others into the house. Once we were all settled into the lounge Steve turned to me.

"You'll be alright bunking with Madison right?" He checked.

"Yeah that's cool." I didn't hold a grudge against the girl or anything, to be honest I think she was the main reason me and Mitchie ever got together.

"That's fine with me too." She grinned, she seemed awfully happy so i shot her a look, "don't worry I won't jump your bones."

I calmed down after her reassurance and settled down with Max to watch TV. Connie and Steve had given Max the guest room so that he had his own space considering he's a boy and it contained all of his toys.

"Alex the phone's for you." Connie interrupted.

We were watching Camp Rock and we'd just got to the good bit where Mitchie sings at Final Jam and Shane realises she's the girl so I was a bit bummed to have to leave the room but then I remembered that it could be Mitch on the phone and I was up pretty quickly.

"Hello?" I said as I picked up the phone.

"Hey baby." The sweet voice brought goosebumps to my skin.

I headed up to Max's room so that I could get some privacy and talk to Mitch in peace.

"How you holding up?" I asked.

"It's all right to be fair, I'm not in actually jail I'm just being held at the station and it's not exactly formal. They don't expect me of anything." I sighed loudly eager to show my relief.

"Good, I'm so glad; I've missed you loads." I admitted.

"I've missed you too."

"I know what will cheer you up." I bragged not bothering to keep the smile out of my voice.

"Oh you do?" She replied.

"Yeah, hearing my beautiful voice singing you another song." I laughed.

"You wrote me another one? You're too good to me." Those two days in hospital really gave me chance to think.

"Yes I did, it shows my love for you; are you ready?"

"I'm ready."

I cleared my throat and took in a deep breath after I grabbed my songbook from under Max's bed (my secret hiding spot).

_"You see my anxious heart,_  
_You see what I am feeling ,_  
_And when I fall apart,_  
_You are there to hold me,_  
_How great your love for me,_  
_Now I see what You're thinking,_  
_You say I'm beautiful,_  
_Your voice is my healing._

_Without You I just can't get by,_  
_So I'm Hanging on to every word You speak,_  
_'cause it's all that I need,_  
_Hanging on to every word You say,_  
_To light up my way,_  
_Even every little whisper I'm,_  
_Hanging on as if it were my life,_  
_I'm hanging on._

_And when the darkness falls,_  
_I can't see what's before me,_  
_Your voice is like the dawn,_  
_Always there to guide me._

_Without you I just can't get by,_  
_So I'm Hanging on to every word You speak,_  
_'cause it's all that I need,_  
_Hanging on to every word You say,_  
_To light up my way,_  
_Even every little whisper I'm,_  
_Hanging on as if it were my life,_  
_I'm hanging on._

_You know me better than I know myself,_  
_Better than anybody else,_  
_Your love is sounding like a ringing bell,_  
_Oh, oh, I won't let go._

_Hanging on to every word You speak,_  
_'cause it's all that I need,_  
_Hanging on to every word You say,_  
_To light up my way,_  
_Even every little whisper I'm,_  
_Hanging on as if it were my life,_  
_I'm hanging on." _I sang.

I heard sniffling on the other line and immediately realised that she was crying.

"Why are you crying babe?" I panicked.

"You're just so perfect Lex, I love you and I can't wait to see you; that was amazing." She cried.

"I love you too." I began to cry too joining in on the sobfest.

"I have to go now, see you soon."

"See ya."

I hung up the phone and placed it on the bed beside me.

"It's safe to say we need to talk." I heard a voice say. I looked up and straight away just by her blue eyes and lucious, brown hair that she was Mitchie's other sister. Dallas.

**3 reviews to update :')**


	15. Don't You Worry Child

ALEX'S POV

"Okay, um yeah, sure." I stuttered as I cowered from the girl in front of me.

I had never once met Dallas but Mitchie had brought her up into conversation numerous times. She's considered the protector of the family and considering how Mitchie gets when someone hurts me I hate to imagine how Dallas will be.

"No need to be scared I just need answers." She reassured.

Still not convinced, I carefully took a seat on the edge of Max's bed and flinched as she sat beside me.

"What do you need to know?" I asked weakly.

"How did this happen?" She questioned.

"Very quickly." I sighed, "One minute she was just the teacher that I pretended to hate but secretly adored and the next minute she's my girlfriend who I can't live without."

"How long has this been going on?" Dallas continued.

"I don't even know. So much has happened since the first time we kissed and now, but I think it's been just over a month." I guessed.

"Do you know how much trouble she could get in?"

"Yes, and I hate that us having a relationship causes so much trouble but I can't do any of this without her. I need her now and I appreciate that you and all of her other family members are struggling with this and the possibilities if we get caught but it's up to Mitch as to whether she does this." I explained.

"Do you honesly like her like that? Or are you just confused?" Dallas checked.

"Definetely not confused." I chuckled, pausing to remember the first night we made love, "when I'm with her everything's right, it feels like nothing could possibly go wrong in the entire world and I feel invincible. She takes away all the bad things in my life, trust me there's been a lot, and she just erases it."

"Have you to, you know." She gestured the awkward situation and I could tell that she was asking if we'd had sex.

"That's sort of an awkward question." I cringed.

"I want the truth." She stated firmly.

"Yes, we have." I whispered.

"So you guys are like bonded physically now." She laughed.

Her light heartedness towards the situation put me at ease straight away and suddenly the older girl didn't seem so scary.

"I guess."

"You were talking to Mitchie on the phone when I came in right?"

"No, what would make you think that?" I joked.

"It's just she's at the police station and you phoned her? Isn't that a little too risky considering what you were saying." Dallas panicked.

"No, they don't suspect her of anything. She's really only at the police station right now because she's trying to foster or adopt Max for the moment so that he has a guardian and they need to do all sorts of tests. They have no evidence to suggest that me and Mitch are in a romantic relationship and to be honest with everything that's been in the news her story is very plausible." I spoke.

"Yeah, I saw that. How you feeling?" She asked.

"Completely drained, embarrassed and weak; everyone knows what happened now; they know about the baby and they know all about Steven." A tear slid past my eye despite my best efforts to hold it in.

"Hey, don't cry." Dallas pulled me close and rocked me gently in her arms, "at least you won't get any abuse about being pregnant because everyone knows the circumstances."

"True, I won't be the class slag." I sniffed.

"See, there's a bonus to every situation and Mitchie is going to be home soon and you can just be close and do all that gross coupley stuff." I already loved Mitch's big sister.

…

I sat and spoke to Dallas for a little while longer and then she left to go home. It's around 11pm now and everyone else is in bed but I just can't seem to settle. The past few weeks have been so rough and it's just weird to think about how everything's changed.

Residing to the fact that sleep wasn't coming anytime soon I reached under the bed and grabbed my songbook, I turned it to the next clean page and picked up my pen from on top of the cupboard beside me. My brain started to rack as I thought of my next song

_There was a time, I used to look into my father's eyes,  
In a happy home, I was a queen I had a gold throne,  
Those days are gone, now the memories are on the wall,  
I hear the sounds from the places where I was born._

_Up on the hill across the blue lake,  
thats where I had my first heart break,  
I still remember how it all changed,  
my father said,_

_Don't you worry, don't you worry child,  
See heaven's got a plan for you,  
Don't you worry, don't you worry now,  
Yeah!_

_Don't you worry, don't you worry now,  
See heaven's got a plan for you,  
Don't you worry, don't you worry now,  
Yeah!_

_Ooh ooh ooh ooooh!  
Ooh ooh ooh ooooh!  
Ooh ooh ooh ooooh!  
See heaven's got a plan for you_

_Don't you worry, don't you worry child  
See heaven's got a plan for you  
Don't you worry, don't you worry now  
Yeah!_

_Ooh ooh ooh ooooh!  
Ooh ooh ooh ooooh!  
Ooh ooh ooh ooooh!  
Yeah..._

I let out a bitter laugh as I threw the pen across the room. All I ever wanted was my dad to love me and I know there's lots of kids out there who don't have parents who love them but I think it's a lot worse if you had the love and then it was taken away.

**I'm going to update this story tomorrow I promise & I redid this chapter because I thought that it was pretty terrible and needed changing.**


	16. How Do I Live

ALEX'S POV

Soft, plump lips rested on my own waking me from my deep slumber.

"Mmm, I could get used to this." I mumbled.

"Same and as much as I wish we could stay in bed and continue this we have to get up to go to school." Mitchie said.

Okay so let me fill you in. It's been just under a fortnight since I spoke to Dallas about my relationship and since then Mitchie has come home, the police have cleared her of any charges and she now has temporary custody of Max which means me and him are cleared to live with her. We will have random checks now and again but since they don't suspect Mitchie of anything they are organised and not random so we don't have to worry about anyone walking in and seeing us together.

Everyone at school knows about the rape and about the whole pregnant catastrophe so everyone's a lot nicer including the teachers. I've turned over a new leaf so now I always do my work, I'm polite to teachers and I actually try in school. I spend most of my lunchtimes in Mitchie's room with Taylor and since everyone at school knows that I now live with her and they are aware about the situation nobody suspects a thing.

I'm eight weeks pregnant which means I have my first antenatal care appointment in around 3-4 weeks which I'm actually super excited about. My X Factor audition is this Saturday, today being Monday, which I'm also super excited about and then to top it off I've been dating Mitchie for six weeks so basically, my life is perfect right now.

"Ugh I can't be bothered to move." I moaned as I grabbed Mitchie's sides pulling her on top of me and connecting our lips once again, "this is so much more fun."

"It is but we still have to get up." She rolled off of me and jumped off the bed causing it to jerk and bounce me in the air.

"Mitchie." I whined.

"Up you get." She shouted as she left the room most likely to wake up Max.

…

I began to trudge down the stairs after I'd finally got up and hopped in the shower. As I began to approach the kitchen I could smell Mitchie's secret pancakes; I still don't know what the secret ingredient is but they're god damn tasty. I spotted that Mitch had her back to me when I walked in the room so after gesturing Max to be quiet I crept up behind her and snaked my arms round her waist causing her to jump a mile.

"God Alex you scared me." She huffed letting go of the pan and turning round in my arms.

Her once cross face immediately softened when she saw my cute puppy dog eyes.

"You're lucky I can't stay mad at your adorable face." She chuckled.

I leant down and began to place sweet butterfly kisses along her neck and jawline until I left a lingering kiss on her cute button nose.

"I'm just too cute." I agreed.

"Just go sit down." She laughed, gently pushing me away.

I squealed as I felt her hand swat my ass playfully when I turned around.

…

"You feeling okay today?" Taylor asked.

We wore both sat in our designated seats at the back of the room in tutor.

"Yes, today I feel like nothing could go wrong. I'm so positive and it's just being with Mitch makes me feel so invincible." I beamed.

"You're so love struck over her." Taylor awed.

"Yep." There was no point denying it and I didn't want to.

"So you excited about your audition on Saturday?" She asked.

"Yes! I already have my song decided." I informed her.

"What you singing?"

"It's an original, it's called listen." I said.

"Can I hear?"

"You can on Saturday." I smiled.

"What? Am I coming?!" She exclaimed.

"If you want to, it would be with Mitchie and Max too though." I told her.

"Of course I want to."

The sound of the ringing bell broke us both from our conversation.

"You guys can go now, have a nice day." Mitchie shouted over the noise of the students.

Everyone began to hustle out the room, me included, and I shot Mitch a dazzling smile before I walked out the door.

MUSIC

"Morning Alex, same routine today?" Miss Hart asked as I walked into the music block.

"Don't you know it." I grabbed a guitar and accepted the warm smile and soft hug my teacher gave me. Ever since she found about the rape and pregnancy she's been way more protective.

I found a corner in the room away from everybody else and began to piece together a tune to fit the words flying around in my head.

_How do I,  
Get through the night without you?  
If I had to live without you,  
What kind of life would that be?  
Oh, I  
I need you in my arms, need you to hold,  
You're my world, my heart, my soul,  
If you ever leave,  
Baby you would take away everything good in my life,_

And tell me now  
How do I live without you?  
I want to know,  
How do I breathe without you?  
If you ever go,  
How do I ever, ever survive?  
How do I, how do I, oh how do I live?

Without you,  
There'd be no sun in my sky,  
There would be no love in my life,  
There'd be no world left for me.  
And I,  
Baby I don't know what I would do,  
I'd be lost if I lost you,  
If you ever leave,  
Baby you would take away everything real in my life,

And tell me now,  
How do I live without you?  
I want to know,  
How do I breathe without you?  
If you ever go,  
How do I ever, ever survive?  
How do I, how do I, oh how do I live?

Please tell me baby,  
How do I go on?

If you ever leave,  
Baby you would take away everything,  
I need you with me,  
Baby don't you know that you're everything,  
Real in my life?

And tell me now,  
How do I live without you,  
I want to know,  
How do I breathe without you?  
If you ever go,  
How do I ever, ever survive?  
How do I, how do I, oh how do I live?

How do I live without you?

How do I live without you baby?

It tends to amaze everybody else how quickly I can write songs but to me it just comes naturally. I write what I feel inside and before I know it I've written a song.

_**6 reviews till I update:)**_


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